cheated on me :(

You will have to talk to him about this. But first, calm yourself down before addressing this. It is understandable (and perfectly normal) that you will be angry and upset but it is also important to be able to talk through the issue without being clouded by these emotions. It is important to have “the talk” because it will be on your mind even if you try to ignore it. Hence, it will be better to understand the context (i.e. what really happened) rather than having you imagine all sorts of scenarios based on what you saw on his phone. Stay calm (try!) during the talk. He may become defensive saying that you shouldn’t be checking his phone or he may be very apologetic and keeps apologizing. Regardless what his reaction is, try to address the main issue and keep your emotions in check. We tend to say things we don’t mean when being ruled by our emotions. Take a break from the talk if needed and resume when either/both parties have calmed down. Consider/anticipate your reactions as well. Right now, you are angry at what you have found out. You need to consider if you will forgive him or what can he do to earn your forgiveness. In other words, what can either party do to move past this incident? No marriage is perfect and what matters is how we handle each crisis. A couple can either fall apart or grow stronger depending on how things are being handled. Know yourself, understand what are within the limits that you can accept or how amends could be made to build trust. Communicate with each other so that things could get cleared up. All the best!

So sorry to hear that. I would tell you to hang in there, be strong and you can do this. I can advise you on what NOT to do when you've caught him cheating. As hard as it is, please do try. #1 Don’t put him out or leave him - yet. This should not be your first move, but your last. #2 Don’t tell the whole world about his infidelity. Let's not complicate things for now. #3 Don’t ignore his affair or pretend it’s not happening. Going into denial will only make things worse. #4 Don’t confront him without the 3 P’s – Proof, a Plan, and a Purpose. Never go into something like this unprepared. You need all the ammunition you can get. #5 Don’t waste your time and energy on the other woman. One of the worst things you can do is to become obsessed with the other woman (whether it was a one-off fling, or a steady relationship). Will you end up sabotaging your marriage or saving it? The final outcome depends on the way you handle things when you first discover your husband’s affair. In the initial stages, you may be unsure exactly what you’re going to do. But at least you know what NOT to do. Whether you stay with your husband or leave him, avoiding these mistakes, leaves the way clear for whatever decision you eventually make. I wish you all the luck and power. Hugs!

My mum gave me a piece of advice that I've carried around with me my whole life: "Bend, don't break" It's a horrible position to be in and I'm so sorry you're going through it now. I would advice that you take note of what you've found and let him the first move, whether it's to confess or apologise. If he doesn't, I wouldn't immediately confront him about it. I would reflect on what I want to achieve from the conversation we're going to have. I would ask myself: - Would I forgive him? - Are there issues in our marriage that I've been ignoring or do not know about? - What are the steps I think we can take to help salvage our marriage? Remember that this shouldn't be a session for you to blame him, it's a time for you to be as open minded as possible so that you can hear him out too. Sending strength and love your way to help get you through this.

Hugs. I'm sorry you have to go through this. First, stay calm. Try not to overthink. If you're a spiritual person, pray for strength and courage. Then ask and tell your husband about what you found out. The decision on what you're going to do next is entirely up to you. Only you know what is good for you right now. Just try not to let your emotions lead your decisions. P. S. I never agree on any boys trip of my hubby unless it is with people/friends that I trust. You know, sometimes, their friends are major factors and influences too on why some men cheat. It would be beneficial for the both you if you are surrounded by people who has your relationship's best interest in mind. Stay strong, love. Whatever other people say, YOU DIDN'T DESERVE TO BE CHEATED ON, regardless of your shortcomings. ^

Oh man, I can't imagine having to go through all that. Firstly, I think that you should ask him about it casually (e.g how was Bintan? Did you guys go to a bar and stuff? How was it?) and see if he tells you. If he does not, let him know that you had found out from someone about the hook up and see if he tells you the truth. If he still doesn't, let it settle for the time being but do observe his behaviour. If he starts behaving nicer and sweeter than usual, he could be trying to make up for his guilty conscience. Men usually will try to make up for something that they KNOW they did wrong. Whenever you feel that it's the right time, confront him about it and talk things out. Figure out the next step together instead of on your own.

I am so sorry to hear about this & my heart goes out to you! While it is very easy to get angry and frustrated with this whole situation. This situation really calls for you to be as calm and composed as possible. Wait for him to confess it on his own, if after one or two weeks he doesn't come clean. Think about how you want to bring this topic up in conversation & what you want to achieve from this conversation. You might also want to reflect on your marriage to see if there are any major problems that caused him to act that way. Having said that, being in a drunken state doesn't give anyone the right to cheat on their partner.

Confront him about it, calmly - and the next time, his friends ask him to go with them, do not allow him. Not that you are being controlling, but you are doing it to protect your relationship. Sometimes, friends drag you in the wrong path. I, personally, do not allow my husband to hang out with his friends that much. Either we fight or he acknowledge that I am right (because he believes that, A HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE). Give him another chance, with conditions. If he committed the same mistake twice, teach him a lesson. And pray for your husband and for your relationship, at all times. It works!

I'm sorry to read this. But let's think clearly ok? 1. He is in the boys days out. We all know, when boys gather, sometimes they do silly thing 2. There is alcohol involved Here is my advice: 1. Did your hubby come clean and tell everything to you? If yes, you probably need bigger heart to forgive him and believe he wouldn't do it anymore 2.Check out his phone again, is there any connection between him and that girl after one night stand? If yes, then you guys have to sit together and figure out. maybe alcohol is not the reason the hooked up happen, but your marriage situation.

Sorry to hear about the things that you are going through. Hugzz Mummy. Just chill and sit down and talk to your hub. Just ask him casual Talk about his boys trip. See and understands his reply from body language. Its important to open up this issues and end this issues. No point putting it and think abt it future. From there you see how you gonna react to it. The trust has broken, its not gonna be gd long run. As a women we will feel unsecured about it. Even if you forgive him but you cant forget. I hoped things be good on you dear. Take care and stay strong.

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