Just heartbroken. Needed to rant

Dont be upset over what you feel. It is your right to feel that way. And it is because of your past. Have you ever tell him why you felt that way? Have you ever tell him that you care, you love and jealousy makes you felt that way? The thoughts of losing him. While I understand it is difficult to let go because of feelings and childrens, but ever thought of your own feelings? You can do co parenting if you were to be apart instead of putting all your emotions, pain while not being notice and being scolded at for just a simple msg that you are sending across (jealous). He cheated on you? He lied to you? Ever find out why? Have ever thought about your feelings, emotionally, mentally, physically? Have you or him go through counselling or discuss ways to make it better? It can be very hard to overcome the past. Maybe perhaps can forgive but nor forget but we have to consider other factor looking into expect of future, feelings, kids, yourself. You know sometimes when you learn to let go, you feel better. When you control your emotions, you feel better. You can also start to "play kite" = give and take. If you notice things start to change (for better or worse), just keep calm and relax. If it goes wrong, tell him off. If it goes right and better, thats good and his improving.

Thats a very mean thing to say coming from him. My husband used to be like this too. Flirted with other girls as well. Talking to him about my feelings doesnt work too. I realised that they do take their wives for granted when we are always giving in to them. What changed for me personally was that I became very firm, told him on the spot when what he did was wrong. I dont cry when I am stating my points. I do not apologise now for whatever reason and stopped bowing down to him, basically a not a yes man to whatever he said. Mock him when he say something childish. He slowly caught up to it, said I have changed. But then HE changed surprisingly. He listens now, he apologises all the time when I am unhappy just cause I became so hard headed. He knows that if he doesnt buck up and act like a husband, I definitely DARE to leave this marriage and he has everything to lose. Not easy, but I feel is what is necessary to be done to some guys who is like a wood block.

I am sorry that you have to go through this. It is verryyyy tiring to keep keeping it to yourself and like you said, always one sided. My advice is that if you feel that he is unworthy and will never ever change, but only want to stay in this relationship bcz of your children, i think it is better to leave. First step is to gather courage to stop being easily affected by his actions. This means to not have anymore feelings for him and that you are now free. Then slowly secretly research on how to have own income and get a living space for you and children. Once youve built that confidence, leave and never look bck. Listen to the song “ unstoppable” by Sia. To give you some motivation. 💪🏻 You deserve to be treated better. Life is short. Dont teach your kids that it is ok to be bullied. And that they cn shine in whatever circumstances. Be their role model. You got this!!

Man i cant imagine what youre going through but youre definitely strong. But honestly, he’s all red flag. From what i read, he doesnt even care about the marriage and everything is one sided. It takes 2 hands to clap but it’s you doing all the work and communication. Yes its hard to divorce when you have children but why would you stay in a marriage that makes you suffer. Its better to end things earlier than you drag it more and itll be harder to leave. Honestly, once a guy lay hand on you, on someone that gave him children, on someone that go thru so much in all pregnancies, its time to go. You never know what he’ll do to the children.

Leopard will never change its spots. Ur RS with him is already scarred, think it thoroughly if this is the life u wan at the age of mid 40’s. Also, with such unhealthy RS, it probably worst for the kids. What will the kids think, what will they feel, how if affects their point of view in life. Tell urself that least ur kids are healthy, they are the most impt in ur life right now, dun waste ur time in worrying something that cheats, and threaten to divorce.

🙏💕