Just heartbroken. Needed to rant

I need to let this out my chest. Been crying till I couldn’t breathe. I have suffered so many during the course of my 5 yr marriage. Being lied to, cheated on, hurt physically emotionally and mentally. But i still took him in, still forgives him and give my all as wife everyday. Just recently i told him as i aged (i am in mid 30s) i noticed an increasingly amount of jealousy. I have never not once been a jealous person but on 2 separate occasions i TOLD him i felt a certain way when he was acting strangely. Told him nicely at first but he is lousy dont know how to calm my overthinking mind. i went through so much in the past of course i still have that trauma. And just this second time i showed my jealousy, when he was videocalling me and his friend came and he muted the call, i asked him and his reason was nonsense- coz of some vulgarity as though im a kid. And just this 2nd time i sulk, he said this to me “please stop before i stop having feelings for u” just this 2 times. After many yrs together. But i. Went through. Years of pain. I had to live through the pain of living with someone who caused me a painful past. Flashbacks after flashbacks. I may be stupid for forgiving him but i have children so it is not as easy as walking out and goodbye. I am just so upset that i am not able to put in words. Am I overreacting? Its just twice. On separate occasions. I didnt sleep with anybody unlike him. But this 2 times, i gave in and apologised. In fact, 99% of our arguments i would be the first to say sorry and move on. Why is my life so miserable. I am just really sad for myself.

Vô danh

6 Replies

Write a reply

Dont be upset over what you feel. It is your right to feel that way. And it is because of your past. Have you ever tell him why you felt that way? Have you ever tell him that you care, you love and jealousy makes you felt that way? The thoughts of losing him. While I understand it is difficult to let go because of feelings and childrens, but ever thought of your own feelings? You can do co parenting if you were to be apart instead of putting all your emotions, pain while not being notice and being scolded at for just a simple msg that you are sending across (jealous). He cheated on you? He lied to you? Ever find out why? Have ever thought about your feelings, emotionally, mentally, physically? Have you or him go through counselling or discuss ways to make it better? It can be very hard to overcome the past. Maybe perhaps can forgive but nor forget but we have to consider other factor looking into expect of future, feelings, kids, yourself. You know sometimes when you learn to let go, you feel better. When you control your emotions, you feel better. You can also start to "play kite" = give and take. If you notice things start to change (for better or worse), just keep calm and relax. If it goes wrong, tell him off. If it goes right and better, thats good and his improving.

2 more comments

itsallabout_mytwokids

Young mummy of two beautiful girls Loves to travel, ✈

2y trước

You should go counselling. If you think it can work out go ahead. If you can't gather the strength, courage, patience to go through what you need. Remember that every woman that go through downfall will have a supporting pillar not just from family member but closest friend. I am sure you have someone to lend a listening ear and hear all your pain, sadness, etc. Believe me that I believe majority of the woman can live without a man in their life. But a man can't live without their first love. If his not willing to go all out to be with you then leave. You know as a woman to woman talking here while I understand it is hard. I am sure you can. Forsake of kids and better of yourself. Virtual hugs dear ❤️ You are worth the next!!

5 Replies

Home Random Talk i need let out chest been crying till i couldnt breathe i have suffere