Just heartbroken. Needed to rant

I need to let this out my chest. Been crying till I couldn’t breathe. I have suffered so many during the course of my 5 yr marriage. Being lied to, cheated on, hurt physically emotionally and mentally. But i still took him in, still forgives him and give my all as wife everyday. Just recently i told him as i aged (i am in mid 30s) i noticed an increasingly amount of jealousy. I have never not once been a jealous person but on 2 separate occasions i TOLD him i felt a certain way when he was acting strangely. Told him nicely at first but he is lousy dont know how to calm my overthinking mind. i went through so much in the past of course i still have that trauma. And just this second time i showed my jealousy, when he was videocalling me and his friend came and he muted the call, i asked him and his reason was nonsense- coz of some vulgarity as though im a kid. And just this 2nd time i sulk, he said this to me “please stop before i stop having feelings for u” just this 2 times. After many yrs together. But i. Went through. Years of pain. I had to live through the pain of living with someone who caused me a painful past. Flashbacks after flashbacks. I may be stupid for forgiving him but i have children so it is not as easy as walking out and goodbye. I am just so upset that i am not able to put in words. Am I overreacting? Its just twice. On separate occasions. I didnt sleep with anybody unlike him. But this 2 times, i gave in and apologised. In fact, 99% of our arguments i would be the first to say sorry and move on. Why is my life so miserable. I am just really sad for myself.

Vô danh

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Thats a very mean thing to say coming from him. My husband used to be like this too. Flirted with other girls as well. Talking to him about my feelings doesnt work too. I realised that they do take their wives for granted when we are always giving in to them. What changed for me personally was that I became very firm, told him on the spot when what he did was wrong. I dont cry when I am stating my points. I do not apologise now for whatever reason and stopped bowing down to him, basically a not a yes man to whatever he said. Mock him when he say something childish. He slowly caught up to it, said I have changed. But then HE changed surprisingly. He listens now, he apologises all the time when I am unhappy just cause I became so hard headed. He knows that if he doesnt buck up and act like a husband, I definitely DARE to leave this marriage and he has everything to lose. Not easy, but I feel is what is necessary to be done to some guys who is like a wood block.

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