Shared child caring but feels more like solo
FTM here and frankly, I just need an outlet to vent. It's been 1.5 months of my husband back at work (he works from home and has time to take naps during his workday) and as much as in the beginning we've agreed to split the schedules and he takes the night shift because he's a night owl, he always ends up taking the convenient way out for himself. My LO is 3.5 months now, and at the 3 month mark we started noticing she'd rather sleep through the night. So from 8.30pm, she'll sleep till about 3/4 am and then cry. So prior to this, I'd dream feed her at 11/12am depending on the day's volume, but at the 3mth mark she'd cry for me to put her back to bed so I stopped the dream feeds. Because she wakes up at 3/4 am - that's my husband's shift. And instead of feeding her, he tries to get her to go back to sleep. Most of the time, bringing her into our room crying (she sleeps in her own room usually), and I'd wake up and put her to bed. She usually falls back asleep in 5-10min, but with his pacifier solution - putting in when she spits it out of her mouth, she usually takes 30min-1hr to fall back asleep on her own in our bed. Now we're 3.5months, and her growth has dropped from 25 percentile to 3 percentile. She really doesn't like to drink milk (max I can get her to drink 130ml every 4 hours. Anything shorter, she drinks 60ml for 3 hours), and I've been telling him every single day that she can't just have 4 feeds a day, and he says it's okay. Now that the PD says she can't drop anymore weight, suddenly he's 100% attentive telling me we should feed her every hour etc. so 1st night back from the pd, he dream fed her twice during his shift. 2nd night, she cried murder at 4am, and he just brought her into our room. After 30min, I was like "did you feed her? She clearly doesn't want to be here nor want her pacifier". He said no. So I had to get up make her milk and feed her. She drank 120ml that round and slept. The same morning, same thing. She cried at 8.50am, and his solution is still to put a pacifier into her mouth.. I was like "seriously, it's been 4 hours, has it not occurred to you that she just wants milk?" Then he left her room and stomped out. What the hell is wrong with him, and any mums facing the same issue with dads? I'm going back to work in 3 weeks and I really need advice on how'd I can get him to wake the fuck up? #firsttimemom #ask1stimemomhere #advice
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