Poor thing. Here’s a fact though. Many men do not understand what their wives are feeling or thinking unless it’s clearly spelt out for them.
I once thought that for my husband to show me he loves me, he needs to understand me and show empathy and be sensitive to my needs and feelings. But, I realised that most of the time, he really can’t pick up my subtle cues and hints. And my husband is actually really, really loving and kind. I needed to change how I express myself and just tell him plainly how I was feeling, and not hold it all in.
During my first pregnancy, one day, I was so fatigued that I broke down when it was time to cook dinner. He had always assumed that I was fine, and was in fact hurrying me to cook dinner that day. I came back out of the kitchen, went up to him, cried and said I couldn’t do it. He was really stunned, never expecting me to feel that way. And you know what? From that day on, he’s watched countless youtube videos on cooking and he’s the one that cooks most of our meals now, even 4 years later! (He even prepared the baby food from scratch 😄)
I’m not saying your husband will definitely respond in the same way, but if he’s hurt you by what he said, the best way to build your relationship is true honest communication. Let him know gently and respectfully that he’s hurt you very deeply, also sharing how much pain you’ve been having this pregnancy and how you’ve been trying to remain strong, but it’s difficult. Ask him whether it’s alright for him to share your burdens, whether it’s caring for your toddler, or giving you hugs and encouragement, or giving massages, etc. If your husband treasures you, this may open up a new chapter in your lives together on how both of you take care of each other.
I know we’re all strangers here, but we’re here for you okay? I had terrible pain my entire 2nd pregnancy too. I couldn’t wait for the 9 months to be over.. but now when I look at my cute LO, “Okay, you were worth all the pain 😅”
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