husband wants to live separately from famimly

My husband and I have been married for about 4 years and we have 2 children, one baby and one toddler. Like any household, we don't always get along perfectly, but I thought that was normal. However, lately, my husband has seemed quieter and just says "yes, yes" to everything. Two weeks ago, he was transferred to another office (the distance is kind of in between, not close but not too far either). Yesterday, he said he wanted to rent an apartment near his office because he's tired of commuting back and forth. After digging deeper, it turns out he feels physically tired and... tired of coming home to a messy house. Seeing me and hearing all my stories of the day (I’m a housewife). Not to mention when I get angry. He feels that he can't focus and work optimally at the office. He said he would come home on weekends, but during weekdays he wants to stay in the apartment... I’m sad and confused. I understand what he’s saying about our house always being messy because we have two small children. I do always talk and complain a lot. I also often unconsciously get angry with him, maybe because I'm tired from taking care of the house and the kids all day... He somewhat blames this for his failure to get a promotion to a better position. He says his mental state is somewhat affected. It seems he’s not really fond of young children. Do you think it’s normal for a husband to want to live separately from his wife and children?

Vô danh

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Hi mummy.. I understand your feeling.. I’m trying to be neutral here. Your husband is a breadwinner for the family . His work got his own stress as well. After a whole day battling with people and work, what he wants at the end of day is just quiet environment for him to relax his mind. However, being the complaint queen we are, we always only talk and complain. He already had enough of that at his office, let alone he wants to hear anymore at home. i think he does care his family or home but he also thinks a lot about his work since you r not working. For me, i would rather discuss with my husband about potential of returning to workforce and hire helper to take care the children. I do understand it's costly to hire helper but if you can return to workforce, it definitely will work for both of you. You both will start to have better quality time and less argument. I was at the same position like you. i believe it's also mentally tiring to take care home and children like you. I hope you can work things out with your husband slowly. No point keep complaining to him.. find a good time to talk things thru.

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Home Baby husband i have been married about 4 years have 2 children baby toddler