husband wants to live separately from famimly

Hi there! I'm so sorry to hear about what you're going through. It's understandable to feel sad and confused about your husband wanting to live separately from the family. It sounds like there are a few things going on here that need to be addressed. Firstly, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with your husband about how you're feeling. Let him know that you understand his concerns about the messy house and your complaints, but also express how his decision is affecting you and the children. Communication is key in any relationship, so try to find a way to work through these issues together. It might also be helpful to consider seeking outside support, such as marriage counseling or therapy. A professional can help both of you navigate through these challenges and find ways to improve your relationship. In terms of the messy house and your complaints, maybe it's time to reevaluate your daily routine and find ways to manage the household responsibilities more efficiently. You could also consider setting aside specific times to talk about your day with your husband, so it doesn't feel overwhelming for him. As for his mental state and feeling affected by the presence of young children, it might be worth exploring why he feels this way. Perhaps there are underlying issues that need to be addressed or maybe he needs some time to himself to recharge. In conclusion, every relationship has its ups and downs, and it's important to work through these challenges together. It's not abnormal for couples to face difficulties, but it's crucial to find ways to address them in a healthy and positive manner. I hope things improve for you and your family soon. Stay strong! https://invl.io/cll6she

No its not but it depends on ur beliefs and morals too. U are a stay home mom and work 24/7 always on call and no breaks. Very selfish for a husband to say tired of coming home to a messy environment and overwhelmed partner. When he knocks off work he gets to rest, listen to music, uninterrupted time. Im more worried that before all this blow up, he didnt come home to clean, cook, play and entertain his wife! NoT FoND of YoUng CHildrEn my A$. Did he use birth control during the beginning of the marriage to prevent a pregnancy? Did he sit and discuss what his objective for marriage was? Is a bloody promotion priority and not the family? If promotion was for better salary, getting a rental and buying meals out helps with finances not? In an emergency and u faint and ur children are left on their own on a random weekday night what happens next? Is this the example of a father/husband/man ur children will grow up with? Therefore is this an acceptable example of a man for ur daughter to marry one day? A quiet apartment with no wife and kids confirm no prossie or other women? Can guarantee the marriage will be safe? IDK MAN IM SO WORKED UP READING THIS. Im a stay home mom. I have a baby at home. I have a husband who works hard and comes home stressed with us. But we talk it out we fight we argue but we put us first for God. Regardless if we didnt believe we would've put us first to break bad cycles of neglect and abuse from previous generation or normalised social stereotypes e.g. husband come home eat sex sleep. No sense of responsibility for family or home. Im sorry but this are my thoughts please dont mind.

Hi mummy.. I understand your feeling.. I’m trying to be neutral here. Your husband is a breadwinner for the family . His work got his own stress as well. After a whole day battling with people and work, what he wants at the end of day is just quiet environment for him to relax his mind. However, being the complaint queen we are, we always only talk and complain. He already had enough of that at his office, let alone he wants to hear anymore at home. i think he does care his family or home but he also thinks a lot about his work since you r not working. For me, i would rather discuss with my husband about potential of returning to workforce and hire helper to take care the children. I do understand it's costly to hire helper but if you can return to workforce, it definitely will work for both of you. You both will start to have better quality time and less argument. I was at the same position like you. i believe it's also mentally tiring to take care home and children like you. I hope you can work things out with your husband slowly. No point keep complaining to him.. find a good time to talk things thru.

There’s no normal or not, it depends on each household. I personally wouldn’t agree to this arrangement unless like you’ve mentioned your husband’s mental state is affected so I think for the time being, it’s actually good to give him a short break (although it does feel unfair on your end that you have to handle everything). Let him know you can support his decision of renting a space for a period of time but you hope that it won’t be permanent or long (giving space but not entirely letting go). Let him know the kids needs their father’s accompany and you need his support as well. I have a friend who lives seperately from her husband ever since dating days (they have 4 young kids, married for over a decade), kids follows her and husband will visit them time to time when he’s free or the wife will go over and stay for a few days. Their marriage still going strong, probably even better than mine lol.

I duno if it’s normal, but leaving you alone to take care of two young children while he gets to so called enjoy his life is unacceptable to me. He should grow a pair and man up! I’m assuming that he doesn’t contribute to the house chores often? He better understands that being a father means bring home the bread PLUS parenting duties. It’s definitely NOT oh I’m making money so everything else is on you, since you’re a sahm. Why doesn’t he use the rental to fund and hire a helper to manage the house chores while he and you get to bond with the children. I hope you have a good talk when the time is right. Maybe get somebody to talk about this to him. Good luck!

my personal thought: this doesn't sound normal for a husband not wanting to come home. my relative's marriage broke down because of this. The wife is a stay home wife looking after the kid and the house is very messy also. during the divorce, the ex-husband mentioned cause the house is very messy and he dreaded coming home and in the end he had been having an affair outside with another woman before the divorce. this may be a one off case but would suggest to have a good talk with your husband, let him know your stresses too and also listen to his. see how things can work out together living under one roof. it is important for the kids to grow up in a complete family. Good luck to you mummy

IMO, no go. As most of the other ladies mentioned, your husband needs to wake up his idea. And it might be better if he gets a talk from a male, perhaps one of your mutual friends, or if u know any of his friends. Not being fond of young children isn't even close to being a valid reason, these are his kids, nor some random kids. He is responsible for bringing them up. If all he does is provide for the family financially, as in giro deduction kind, he's not being a father, nor a halfway decent husband.

I don't think it's normal for a husband to be living away from his family especially if u have young kids. u need support too he is rather being very selfish and didn't spare a thoughts for u. if my husband would to be like this I'll ask him to leave for good. I won't need him anymore. all the above reasons he has given is bull s*** and excuses. sigh very sorry for my directness but I really can't stand a man who is like this.

Wow i feel so angry for you reading this. The kids are his as well so he should not just leave them with u weekdays and enjoy his single life. You’re equally stressed as well, why not he settle the kids and u only go back sat and sun? As mentioned by others might as well use the rental money to get a maid and you can go back to work to help in finances if he really feels so burdened by it.

Totally not normal! On the flip side, renting an apartment isn't it more costly and also suggesting someth otherwise? He could easily bring home someone with him! As with the other comments, would suggest getting a helper, win win situation. You can do this, be firm and tell him to grow up