Ask the Expert Series: Supporting your children’s mental health

It can be hard to manage tantrums of older children because they are no longer little, yet not old enough to think through their behaviours rationally. Before dealing with a tantrum, a good first step would be to stay calm. While easy to say, this can be tricky because the behaviours may sometimes not make much sense to an adult! A good level of “calm” would be one where you are able to speak slowly to first connect with your child. You could start off with an observation of their behaviour, followed by a reflection of their emotion, and redirection of the behaviour or further clarification (e.g. I see you throwing your bag because you were angry that your friend pushed you. It is okay to be angry, but not okay to throw your bag. Can I find out more about what happened so we can figure out how to make things better?). You could use this as an opportunity to help your child problem solve through challenges, which can be useful skills for future situations.