Worried FTM

Hi mummies, I'm a ftm and a pretty young one too - 22yo. I'm worried im not able to cope caring for my LO all by myself! My mother has to work as well as my husband, and I'm left with my MIL. But i don't quite like the way she is n how she keeps doing/saying things as tho she wants to take my child from me (very long story). Should i just put my ego down n close both eyes n let my MIL take care of my LO or should i just take care of her myself? My concern is, sometimes my LO cries a lot when she's not sleeping and ive done everything -burping, changing diaper, feeding. but she still cries... which kind of stresses me n I'm so tired from pumping every 2hours if not I'll have engorgement which is also very uncomfortable.

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Hi, it's good to have extra help as it allows you to get some rest. Maybe you can discuss how to split or share the time with baby? Eg you can let your MIL know that you will take care of feeding and bathing baby, baby can then spend some time with both of you before she helps you put her to bed? If baby is newborn, let her know that DOC advises baby has to be near you for breastfeeding purposes and is beneficial for her development. Excessive crying in babies might be due to colic esp during their first 3 months. Maybe you can try a simple massage routine for your lo? Steps found in this link : https://www.google.com/amp/s/sg.theasianparent.com/tummy-massage-for-colic-and-constipation/amp However do check with your doc during the next follow up if there is any cause for concern. Hope things get better :)

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Im also a young ftm, and my boy is 15.5 months now. When my boy was a newborn i was only 18.5 years old, i didnt have any help at all cause no one in the family knew how to take care of a baby. My mil didnt want to offer any help as well, and always complain tiring when i only asked her to look after my son for 3-4 hours ONCE IN AWHILE (maybe 1-2 times in a few months). My husband didnt have a job and was lazy, even at home also didnt bother helping me. So i used up all my sleep to be able to take care of baby alone during confinement and after confinement every single day until he turned 14 months, i pump every 3 hours too and latch him on demand. After awhile, your body kinda gets used to it, hence it'll be easier.. So mummy do not give up, I believe youll be able to do it 💪🏻

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hi mummy, I had my first at 22 also. because I was young, my in-laws tried to help me a lot but I think best is if we are still the primary caregiver with baby being comfortable with the grandparents. sometimes when other help us with our baby, it's hard to ask them to do it the same as us. it's hard to take care of a newborn in the beginning but it will get better. hang in there!

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How old is you little one? Do you feel confident in your ability to care for him/ her alone? If you do and you have doubts about your Mum in law and your relationship, I suggest to handle it yourself and ask your mum in law for help a couple of days a week for a few hours so you have some time out :)

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Hi, I feel that it's always good to have someone that can share your responsibility so that you can have some rest time. You should discuss with your MIL to come out with schedules on who to take care of your LO on a weekly basis.

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Completely agree with some of the other ladies on this one- Try to work with your MIL taking care of LO for a few days a week and fork out time as well. Keep a balance, you need the help- take it.

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Try to live in harmony with your MIL. At least she’s another pair of hands to help take care of your baby