5 Replies
I guess, you do not say anything to your child in front of your MIL, since you know that she is going to side him. Always call him to the other room and make him understand. Also, you have to understand that your child knows that if you will scold him then he always has his grandmother for a shield, so you will have to build a bond with your child so that he doesn't run to his grandmother if something goes wrong between you too. Things between you and your son should be such that if you are upset with him then instead of thinking of going to his grandmother or for that matter anyone, he should think 'what should i do to make mamma fine?' For this, you have to develop a very open conversational relationship with your son. Have more and more discussions with him. Let him have his viewpoint. Instead of preachy, listen to his opinion as well, and appreciate too.
Tell your MIL when your kid is not around that her shielding of him is causing problem in his behaviour and this way your son will become ill mannered and will not take you seriously. Tell her that she can love him or do whatever and if there are any suggestions that she wants to make, she can tell you later but not in front of the kid. I think if you will have a word with her over a cup of tea and nicely explain it to her, she will understand your point. Sometimes, just because the woman is MIL, we underestimate their understanding capability.
i think you should immediately talk to your MIL about this and tell her how her behaviour is creating a negative impact on your son. tell her that as he grows up, he will look up at his grandmother as a role model, but will realize that what she is doing is not correct. and this will especially hold true when he is reprimanded by others for his misbehaviour. if she absolutely fails to see reason, please get your husband involved and make sure he understands your concern.
the best way to tackle this is to talk to your hubby first, and if he doesn't understand, then speak to your MIL directly. i feel that as mothers, we really need to stand up to people and assert ourselves. don't be rude. just be firm and tell her that your son will look at her as a role model, so instead of pampering him all the time, she too should take care to discipline him. try and be smart about the words you choose ;)
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