hi all, im new here.. i have some qns regards to my 26 months.. is it a must to discipline ur child to really listen to ur every word?? my 26 month cant speak full language yet.. he only say 'what is this' best.. example: last weekend we having staycation with family and he's been getting into fights with the youngest cousin.. he will cry without stopping when i said no to him.. i dont really beat him but last weekend, i beat him the most which i really dont want to.. i seldom use cane too.. and when the youngest cousin wants to play his scooter, he defend and cry again, but the youngest cousin also got wrong as she snatch while my son is holding it.. can someone tell me how old does they understand what we saying? currently, im preg with 2nd child @ 26 weeks.. im afraid i will breakdown if he wont stop crying.. he doesnt know how to stop, he just go on and on.. thanks.. And to add: recently i m super stressful about finance.. i take back home less than 1.4k.. i m going to change job but is until end of the year then can change as im expecting now.. i keep on feeling to stop work and stay home with my tod until i give birth.. but i cant.. i dont know what is wrong with me recently.. i feel like breaking down but no one understand.. they only will say is my own fault..

I can understand how traumatized u must feel right now. Beating ur kid won't help you at all. Notice that I said that it won't help You. We moms are a different breed. It kills us if we resort to beating bcoz we know deep inside that the problem is within us and not in them. Kids response to everything in crying only. I strongly feel that discipline mostly involves shifting their focus towards the right rather than beating them as they dont understand why they are being beaten. Humans are not programmed to respond to beating in a learning manner. For eg.a husband who beats his wife into submission is only making it difficult for her to love him, respect him and show submission out of love to him. She fears for her life and his irrational behavior that's why she quietly shows an attitude of submission. The day it goes beyond her tolerance,she will give it to him even worse than what he did. The same with kids...they will never understand why that action was so wrong if u beat them. Hence counseling comes in. Try speaking to child counselor for help on the constant crying. Maybe he's crying for attention or that he feels that only by crying he can get what he wants. A counselor can outline steps to deal correctly with ur kid. Regards to ur work and feelings of inadequacy...pls remember that such feeling do come in pregnancy. Ur hormones r in a toss. Plus it's the environment u r living in. If u can then please take a break from work but let this be a decision that u take after weighing out options wit ur husband. Don't feel that by ur not working u will be useless or no one will respect you. Your children will thank u someday for giving them that time and sacrifice. Please remember that it's the world's portrayal that only women who multitask are best. Our body is created to do one task at a time. When u multitask, You are the one who crash and burns. Others around you may call u superwoman. But it's these same ones who raise u to that high pedestal and when u fail in even one things these same push u down. So ask yourself...do u want to be there for your kids or do u want to be the superwoman everyone wants u to be. In this stage of pregnancy pls take care of ur mental state as ur newborn will be as cranky as u are and I'm sure u don't want that

Hugz mama. It must be your hormones too making you feel this way. Eventhough they can't speak well, they understand and they will not listen to your instruction because they are testing their boundary. Checking how you will react if they disobey you. Be firm and consistent. I don't hit my kids because I don't believe that this will work in the long run and will just give them an excuse that violence is excusable. But hey, I have nothing against parents who take this path to discipline their kids. What you can also do is gauge your kid's mood. Maybe he is feeling tired or frustrated, take him out of any situation that might aggravate his bad mood. If the cousin does not want to share, then take your child out from this situation and try to engage him with another toy. For me it's best to avoid than to confront. And I'm sure other moms will understand you. The parents in this forum do :-)

I'm sorry but no matter how frustrated or tired you are, how can you take it out on your baby? which is exactly what you are doing! using a cane on a 26 month old, or for any child??? its absolutely ridiculous!!! there are many ways to teach discipline to a toddler and the word does not mean your child has to follow every single thing you say word for word. the one thing that you have to do is ask your partner to participate more. and take care of the baby so that you can rest and get your energy and mood back. a 2 year old child can very well understand the basics of discipline, but you need to teach it in an age appropriate way, by repeating things over and over, being patient, and teaching as a role model yourself.

Hi Mummy, Its never easy having to cope with a toddler and your pregnancy at the same time. Always TRY to maintain your cool as your upswinging emotions will indeed affect your unborn baby...I know it's difficult, however please try for the sake of your baby & toddler. As for your toddler, do acknowledge his emotions (he was being upset as his scooter was snatched away by cousin) and gotta explain to him very patiently. We know by beating, it really does not help him to understand what is happening. Don't forget to always reassure your love for him again :) For yourself, taking it a little easier at work/home will go a long way in managing your own emotional health too... Your kids need you. Jia you!!

there is something really wrong here, in terms of your emotional and stress levels. i don't understand the use of words and actions such as 'beating' and 'cane' being used for a 26 month old baby. you really will have to take a call and get your life sorted. if you are so stressed and hassled, please get help and maybe stay with your parents who can help ease your pressure. whatever problem you are going through, you are the adult and have to handle it, it is not fair to put your 26 month through it. and now that you are again pregnant, you are not just harming your toddler but also affecting your unborn baby's health. please take proper rest and care and ask your family to help.

I know it's frustrating but I honestly think beating a child should not be an option especially when he cannot express himself fully yet. If this happens often, he will be negatively affected in the long run :( At his age, your son is testing his limits and boundaries, that's why he is acting up and beating him will only worsen things. Being firm and patient is an ideal way but at the end of the day, it's not fair for me to tell you what you should or shouldn't do as a parent because ultimately, I'm not in your shoes or living your life, feeling how you feel. I pray things will improve for you mommy

dear mommy, i think the reason you are going through all this is that you are super stressed and your body and mind really need a rest. i definitely don't agree to hitting a kid, and saying that you did not use a cane makes me think that you may have thought about it, or may do it in future? please take a break. i know it can be really exhausting, but do ask for help. your hubby can pitch in for you sometimes during the week or weekend. if nothing works, try to get some professional help, especially as you are pregnant and it can affect both you and your unborn baby.

I will say being firm is the way to go. My tod will always push her limits n wanting to get her way by crying. My hub will give in but I will be v firm. Hence, she knows that she cannot play around with me. I will not scold or beat but I will raise my voice. If he cries, I will put her in a designated place and once she stopped crying, I will allow her to come out. She started to realise the negative reinforcement and stopped crying though she whines at times.

Sometimes we need a strategy talking to kids. But frankly speaking, beating is not the best way to tell your son. You can be firm and give reasons to him. Talk nicely. Scolding won't give you any advantage. He will only show the worse in the future. Stress also is a factor since you're preggy and with financial problem. I suggest you talk to your husband and ask for his help. Too much stress will lead you to miscarriage

Understand how you feel. it happen to my wife before when she preg. will be emotional. just becareful not to go into depression. speak to him in a firmly tone when he naughty. do not be too stressful about it, most kid are terrible when 2 yrs old. ")