Hi all, I have a few questions that I need advice for. Do you need to mentally prepare yourself for a divorce or just pop the question out one day? If yes, how can you distract yourself from overthinking and keeping it together? I am on the verge of asking for a divorce. My husband has been mentally torturing me whenever we are quarelling and I believe it worsens my psychological health. During the quarrels and arguments he will talk about how screwed up I am with myself in the relationship and why I can get so annoying? The problem is, aren't you supposed to seek affection only from your spouse? But it doesnt seem like it for us- he finds that I am too dependent on him etc, questions why I am restricting him on his interest? I am really very tired of it. I feel that I can take it no longer but I still love him a lot. During the past years I have changed whenever we talk about issues and now, I somehow feel that I am the only one who is making the changes. Whatever or however I change, it will always be insufficient. Please help. Thanks all.

First of all, *BIG bear hug* I have not been through such stress situations but a couple of my close friends had which eventually ended up in either divorce or awkward relationship. I would not say that I understand because in each family, there is its own unique set of problems. Hurtful words are exchange when emotions run high - sometimes it hurts longer and more then was intended. I advise to talk to a counsellor - u can find more info at https://app.msf.gov.sg/Policies/Marriages/Marriage-Counselling It would be best if u can discuss with ur husband about how u both can go together so that u both can more peace in the household first. Please don't pop up the divorce word just yet because once said cannot be unsaid/unhurt. In some cases, the couple will still be advise to go through counseling before divorce to see if things can be worked out Maybe in the meantime u can try to spend some time for urself doing the things u like or catch up with ur friends etc - take a breather. The more u think abt it, the higher the chance of a over-reactive session when u talk to ur husband later I don't think I can give a lot of advice or finish giving advice because I do not know the whole story. But I do hope u both can work things out first - both of ur needs and wants - after that is done then can any positive feelings of love and affection flow. Divorce is a tough tough road. Don't throw the towel in yet without exhausting help.