My husband is very possessive. Earlier I used to like it but now I find it suffocating. He says he is being protective. I don't want to hurt him yet want to get rid of the suffocation. How do I handle this?

Thankfully, my husband does not have this kind of nature, else things would have been very difficult for me, as I am a very independent woman. I cannot even fathom, the degree to which it must be frustrating for you to bear with such a thing. But, I suggest, you pick up some job. And if for some reason you cannot then, work part time or join some NGO, or just take your camera or phone and go about exploring the city every other day when you feel it is getting too much to handle. You can start your own picture blog where you can post these pictures and advertise it on your FB or other social media. All I am trying to say is, do something that requires you to be engaged in that particular thing. Be it your hobby, passion, compulsion, because this is the only thing that will help you remain sane and never know in the process you will do something good for yourself.

Well! Some Indian men do have this trait. And it has nothing to do with being possessive, it is the insecurity and their patriarchal behaviour. They do not want women to behave outside the picture that they have created of them. I doubt if you can change your husband much. If he is of the kinds who would listen to you and understand then you can tell him that every relationship needs little space and he needs to understand that. If he gets it well and good but if he doesn't then I think you should join some activity where you are engaged for sometime and are away from him. You can join a yoga class, dancing, singing, swimming or anything where you enjoy spending time. This will freshen you up mentally and would not feel you feel as suffocated as you do. It will be kind of a breather for you.

do it slowly. talk to him about it and tell him that you do not want to cause him unnecessary stress. assure him of your love and help him get confident. end of the day, it is all in the mind, and i know it can be a very long and difficult process, not to mention one that can definitely create tension between you two. but you can try and go out a few times on your own and show him that you could handle it yourself, that you are fine. sometimes, this additional possessiveness stems from too much love, or a worry about safety. handle it accordingly.

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