How do you let you mum-in-law know that you will be calling the shots on the upbringing of your child (without sounding rude)?

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I agree with Bianchi. Treat your MIL with respect and let her voice out her opinion. Tell her that you value her advices, however, you still have the last say. You are the parent after all.

I will listen everything she said and try it first. If her style didn't work with me.. i'll tell her directly. what work to someone doesn't give the same result to others :)

Hmmmmm, I will provide reasonings to my MIL, rearing kids now has been drastically different from the past, how they raise kids from last time might not be suitable for now.

Mom in law....you brought up ur son and he turned out fine...now let me call the shots and see what I do to mine.. Id be sweet empathizing and giving assurance to her ..

Let the time come when it requires the decision making and you face conflicts with her and then try to tell her why your approach is better than hers for your child.

To tell her politely that you are grateful to have her around to play with your child, but you would like to bring your child up in your own way of parenting.

I wish things were Tobe as easy as it sounds. I have a loving and caring husband but he is not too well and we don't know the name of the illness

Ask her for advice, get her involved as much as you can. getting the advice and not following it is your choice. But make her feel needed.

Play it slow actually. Don't go head on first. And get your husband to also talk to your mother in law about decision making. Act as a unit!