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My helper likes to comment like *oh baby so poor thing, this mommy dont do this and that for u* right in front of me which makes me uncomfortable. She touch my LO also made me uneasy. I never get confinement lady or even let her take care of the kid coz i have trust issue. i find it better to take care of my baby myself esp when he’s only a month old. Plus she’s not even competent with house work. I dont want to tell her off coz she’s older than me. Any advice ?

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I used to have issues trying to tell older folks off too, but I think after giving birth, I realised my own emotions are often fragile n so my sanity n happiness are of the utmost importance. So regardless of age, you should be firm with her and warn her you don’t want to hear her say all this nonsense again if not you’ll send her home. If she still does the same, I’ll really change helper. Don’t worry about her being older, you are paying her to help you, not cause you more distress with her careless words. So angry for you!

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Best to communicate to your helper directly. You’re still the employer and if there is something that needs to be fixed, best to explain before the feelings of resentment slowly seeps in. Try it like “I’ll appreciate if you can let me discipline my child on my own terms, I understand you have the best interests of my child...) something like that. If it still doesn’t get through, just be direct.

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Change her out. I wouldn't tolerate my helper bad mouthing me right in front of me to my child. Why let yourself get bullied like that? She isn't competent in her work and speaks so disrespectfully. You are her employer not her younger sister. You imagine if you go to work and say such things about your boss, asking to get fired right...

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As her employer, you need to put boundaries on respect and make her tow the line. Your helper might be older but you are her employer. If you allow this to continue, it will be a very uncomfortable relationship going forward. You don’t want bad behaviour to become a habit.

Communication is the key to all relationships. I’m always very upfront with my helper. If after talking to her still no improvement then change. No point torturing yourself thinking about it if you don’t talk with her and try to understand each other.

Super Mom

Set boundaries. Its imperative. Some helper have the tendacy to feel superior if youre nt assertive enough. It may be uncomfortable (feel bad etc.) But try to establish it. U prolly can see her true colors too.

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change her, she shld b respect you from the beginning. PS, u pay her salary lo... if she's not competent even house work y spend extra money on her

Why don’t u talk to her and tell her this is not the right thing to say before changing helper? She might not realise what she is saying

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I would change her. It’s negative comments which are not good intentions. When baby starts to understand it’s a problem.

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You should be firm with your helper and put a stop to this immediately, talk to her n make sure she doesn't to this again.