Am I selfish?

As my bb grows older, my in laws have been dropping hints they want to bring her out when she is older or take care of her. However, I am against it unless my husband is there with her. I just don’t trust them enough. There’s many reasons for me to be feeling this way. To name a few, my in laws make fun of my baby’s name, my in laws always pass comments that are negative to my baby such as she is a crybaby and even bad comments to me and my mil likes to run her mouth like of all the things she could say to a baby she choose to say shit things? I did have several arguments with my husband about how he should manage his mother. And he did all he can but his mother head is harder than a rock. Im not surprised if my husband ever tell her off she would cut off ties with him lol. Anyway, aside from all of that my mil don’t listen to me when I tell her to pass me the baby back when my baby clearly don’t want her, or when I tell my mil things to take note of when handling the bb like how my bb likes to be carried and all. Im not being controlling but my mil really thinks she know it all. Im the one who take care of my baby of course I know and I wouldn’t ask her to do it in a certain way if my baby is fine? But my baby is hysterically crying. From the day I gave birth to this very day, she make me feel miserable. I also know she will go against whatever my husband and I tell her if we leave our baby there. My baby has eczema so oats and rice are not recommended to be fed as of now. My MIL thinks she is a doctor and thinks my baby can be fed that. I always have to tell her many times DON’T DO THIS AND THAT. Trust me I respect my in laws, never once raised voice whatsoever, I always end up crying after I meet them , but I feel like I tolerated way too much. I can only hold in so much. The only reason I am still seeing her is because I pity my husband. He told her off many times nicely, but she is stubborn as heck. Anyway, this is just a rant. I hate how before I was pregnant and was pregnant, she kinda left me alone but after baby comes out she becomes nosy. Actually, when it took my husband and I some time to have our baby, she passed comment on how I should fix myself to get pregnant lol. Anyway, also my in laws see my daughter as a product to show off. Post my baby face here and there without asking. Want to bring her out and take care of her when she is bigger. They only want her when its convenient for them. They did nothing to support me and my husband after I gave birth. Only give me depression. Hate is a strong word but I think I have finally hate them.

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Nope. If they don't respect boundaries, then the consequence is that they'll never have alone time with the kid. Seek your husband's support on this matter. It's your child. If anything happens, you'll be the one bearing the responsibility and guilt, so ignore any guilt tripping they may do. If they had been more reasonable and respectful, they would've been able to have alone time with the kid, but since they don't, it's on them, not u.

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My baby wont be going out with anyone without me. Period. Even with only my husband i dont trust cause to him thats his mum so anything is ok one, but not for me. Till now 14 months i never allow my mil to take care of my lo. You dont respest me you dont deserve my child

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nope you're not selfish. you know what's best. follow your intuition and stay strong. if she can't listen to your instructions and undermines you it's not good. your baby will also see how she treats you and you don't want them seeing that.

this is why never give MIL. take care no matter how they convince us. later anything happen to your baby they will blame on girls side like never take good care etc

No. You’re not selfish. I also do not trust my in laws. They’re not allowed to have alone time with my kid

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