Any of your hubby asking alot from a stay at home wife?

First I must confessed my spouse is a traditional, super MCP man & loves face a lot, should have extinct in this era. He really expected me as a stay home as wife to cook regularly, iron all his working clothes, maintain house clean & clutter-free, must send & fetch child to & from school daily and still must treat him very nice at home. He doesn’t take care of our child since birth until now. And even when baby & I are out with a lot of heavy groceries & manoveuring a stroller, for several times he would also told me to go home by taking mrt ourselves instead of driving to pick us up. I told him clearly I am deadbeat & depleted all my energy after waking up many times in the night pacifying back to sleep now and then but he doesn’t bother to understand me. Everyday he worked until after 12am then come home. I don’t know what does he treat me as? In this era, he’s still lives in such times expecting a married woman to be like his late mum so capable & independent? For example: 1) Never even babywear like many other dads did since birth until toddler at all. 2) Almost rarely pat or coax our child before sleep. 3) Never once ever wake up in the night to coax child back to sleep. He slept like a dead pig until morning wake go work very late. 4) Never ever wash toilet bowls. 5) Often roar like crazy & throw bad tempers at me & child. 6) Hit me with his elbows very forcefully until my arms blue black when he was the one asking me to wake him up in the morning no matter what happens. 7) Slammed doors very hard when angry. Hit fist on the wall to vent his anger on us. Something is wrong with him but nobody knows as everyone outside thought he’s a super nice hubby and family man. I have no one to talk to as he stopped me from telling anyone, including his family members & relatives. What should I do?

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Your description sounds horridly similar to my dad. 1. Never laid a finger on any housework, including drinking cup. 2. When my mum comes home midnight after work, she still MUST finish all housework and iron his clothes, otherwise she’ll be locked outside house. We children cannot help otherwise she’ll suffer more. 3. Whenever he’s sick, my mum must be beside him 24/7 and take care of everything. However, when my mum’s sick, it’s none of his business and can go out till night. 4. Everything my mum buys has to report to him. But he can spend whatever he wants for himself and his parents. My mum has to surrender all cash and cards and passwords to him. 5. If we sisters buy things for mum, we MUST frigging buy for him too 🙄 Otherwise mum suffers again with his verbal abuses. 6. When he’s triggered, he’d smash things, hit walls, slam doors and shout at every anybody, including strangers. And yes despite all these, people still view him as a champion of cultivating “successful” children and owning big houses big cars. Sigh 😔 Unfortunately, my sisters and I suffer too. The psychological damages are very real. All of us had to visit psychologist during adolescence. And we all got married in early 20s to escape from this hell. We did our best to rescue our mum but sadly, women of that generation is too “loyal”. Anyway the pain and trauma followed us throughout, even as a parent now, the past still haunts me. I’d still rmb how one wrong sentence of ours would trigger slaps and shoutings. These monsters don’t change. Never. Everytime I see question like what would you do if you could turn time back, I only have this answer: Give my mum courage to leave this man. Everytime I watch horror movies like Slenderman, I’d pray that it’s real and take this monster away from us.

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