I'm unsure if I wanted to post this so I do it anonymously.
Maybe is the approach. Sorry but to say your rant looks like a typical divorce affidavit for unreasonable behavior.
If you have a confinement lady, she is meant to help you pump milk.
Your husband most likely is trying to let out some steam by going out for supper and buying baby stuff together. Yes is not fair to you because you are left alone with the confinement lady whom is hired to care for you & baby.
Regarding aircon, you may consider changing to ceiling fan so you can turn off the ceiling fan and change the baby diapers. For air-con even if you switch it off, the air is still cold.
Regarding "me" time, as noted in your reply, he was working overseas. I believe he is trying to catch up with friends and etc too. This will happen for a few months more till he exhausted his catch up list. (Depending on how popular your husband is)
Marriage counselling will help him set his prioritize right but this is common with first time father/husband.
Regarding the intimacy, honestly even a wife is super hot but is a high conflict situation. I think the guy also no mood for it. (true story from a friend of mine whom married a crazy model)
Have you heard of fight and flight response to stressful situation? Basically your husband is taking the flight response that is why he is avoiding you(not baby). If it was a fight response you would be ranting about violence and loud voices from him.
With the above said, you aren't at fault too because being a first time mother is very stressful!
Is best to seek marriage counselling to manage both parties expectation and hopefully save the marriage.
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