20 Replies

Super Mum

I didn’t have a CL but my husband was with me. Being tired and weak is one thing, but leaving your baby alone while you’re trying to cook/clean/do other stuff is another. A lot of babies are insecure and will keep crying and calling for you. My friend gave up eating some meals altogether, which is really bad, especially when you’re recovering, and when you’re trying to build up your milk supply. Sometimes we think, I can do all these when baby sleeps.. but when they finally fall asleep, we feel the fatigue (and it’s severe) since the adrenaline rush is gone. You may lose track of time and days, forget whether you’ve done something, and so on.. cooking can then become dangerous because you’re so out of it. From personal experience, it’s doable without a CL. But get help with your meals.. either order in daily or get the tingkat confinement meals, or get someone else to cook (I kid you not, my husband learnt cooking because I broke down one day and said I was too tired. Now, he’s the head chef at home). Also lower your expectations for things like house cleanliness for a while. And for things like exclusive breastfeeding during the initial phase. If you have not enough milk, just top up with formula till you have enough. If you’re worried about nipple confusion, feed baby with a syringe instead of the bottle. Lastly, mental health is very important. Ask for help if you need it. Don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Your husband should also play a big role in caring for your baby. And if you need emotional support, talk to your husband, friends and the rest of the mummy community:)

Take this time during your confinement to bond well with the baby .. And slowly you will adapt the lifestyle bit by bit . It requires alot of patience but you will be able to do it .. you probably wouldnt be able to get enough sleep but maybe get your husband to assist you in taking care of the baby .. if you are afraid you cant cope you can find some nanny who does postnatal massage and prepare confinement meals for you but you will need to spent and also .. Eat lots of sharkfish to increase your milk supply .. There is alot you will learn during this one month .. Its best to stay home this period too because of the COVID-19 . Take good care of your health and also you may want to visit instagram page "@ohmilkymama" if im not wrong and eat those cookies to increase your milk supply too .. This is the best time to learn everythint and also take lots of picture . In my opinions , staying home is the best now .

Please don’t take shark fin for sustainability sake. Shark fin is also not healthy due to its mercury level. Fish like salmon and threadfin are good enough to boost milk supply

I had c-sec in end Mar and my CL only came 2 days after my hospital discharge. As a FTM, there were things I am not sure (e.g. breastfeeding, how to bathe a newborn). I had very little sleep those 2 days. My mum and MIL took turns to cook lunch and dinner for me. Baby kept waking up at night and didn't drink milk often. When my CL came, she has been a great help. Someone who helps to take care of my baby so that i can have more rest. She also provides advice on breastfeeding. I thought i was mentally prepared for motherhood but in reality, it is very different from what I had expected. First week was the toughest and I am still learning now. Hopefully, i can cope myself when the CL leaves

VIP Member

I've heard that the way some caucasian mums do confinement is that they will cook and freeze their meals before they give birth. When they reach home after discharge from hospital, they will just pull out meal packs from the freezer to heat up and eat. I don't think its really the way you should be putting food in your tummy even on a regular basis, much less when your body is trying to recover from childbirth, but they make do because they may not have the support system to enable them to do otherwise. If u are worried about availability of help, perhaps you could order confinement tingkat and enlist your mum help to help care for baby in the first few days at least.

VIP Member

I had to go under csec so for a good 1 to 2 weeks I was in great pain. My CL definitely helped in caring for my baby so I could have more rest. Of course there are those who claim they are csec and did everything themselves, but I'm glad I didn't try to be so hero about things cos as a FTM this can be very daunting. If you can, please minimally get confinement tingkat, and hopefully your husband can also help you out during this period. I've heard many cases where the MIL/mum volunteer to do confinement but last min bail out, or just anyhow cook, so that's a thing that you may want to outsource to at least have certainty that you will at least be well fed lol.

Can your hubby have time or willing to help out household chores daily? If no, consider get part time maid? Or the best option is to enroll your mother or your mother in law to help do the confinement. The confinement food if they dunno how to cook, can order those Tingkat. But best is home cooked confinement food, more nutrition and the quality and quantity is better. My mother and Mother in law did confinement and cooked confinement meals for my wife, she ate it for 1.5 months to replenish her body. If you don't do your confinement well, General Chinese old folk perception is that your body will suffer (such as body aches or body pain) later on as you age.

Take care of your own health, when you are healthy then you are able to take care of your baby and your family. Health is above everything.

TapFluencer

A cl is there to help us take care and teach us. After giving birth you need plenty of rest and nutrition food intake to let your body recover just like after operation same logic. The reason they call it confinement is to let mother rest and heal. You may heal on the outside but not inside. The side effect will only come later stage when you didnt take care yourself well. Definitely you can follow Caucasian style. It's your choice. It's your body your choice. But always rmb know how to take care of yourself before you can take care your baby. Alternatively you can choose to hire CL from agency instead to be safe.

VIP Member

After birth, you need plenty of rest and to recover. In order to rest and to recover, you need someone to take care of baby and your needs which is the CL. You imagine, after birth u went through so much pain, come back home also need to deal with your NB needs. Need to do simple house chores too. For now you think it's manageable lah.. but when time comes, it's different. And also not forgetting the hormones changes and the breastfeeding journey with endless of feeding and pumping. If you dun wanna get CL, can you get your mother or MIL or even aunty to help u do? If aunty help u do also need to pay lah

I think it’s always good to have a extra hand to help so you can rest both physically and mentally, especially if you are a FTM. I wouldn’t say u need to get a “professional CL” but someone who is experienced. (Btw, not all mothers know how to do confinement. My mum do not know bcos she does not have confinement when she had me). My gf who dont do confinement for her #1 and then do for her #2 properly tell me there’s a difference in the body. I know it’s hard securing a CL but deposit is unavoidable. You can try securing CL that is already in Sg. I found mine from fb.

VIP Member

You don’t really need to hire a “professional” CL. In my opinion and experience, as long as you have someone to help you with preparing the food, taking over the baby for a while and other doing some chores, you’ll be fine. I gave birth twice - in my first one, my parents were there. In the 2nd one, my distant relative/helper was there. When it comes to food, I don’t believe in the concept of heaty and cooling food. If it’s healthy, eat it. 😆 To add on, I wasn’t too weak to do anything. I still washed bottles, cook simple food and vacuumed the house.

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