24 Replies
Abuse or violence. A long time ago, when I was a child, I remember a relative hitting his wife for dropping a tray of drinks at a gathering. Me and my cousins were playing in the kitchen and we saw it but that idiot of a man didn't care. I told my mom about it and she looked visibly upset that I witnessed the whole thing, and told my dad. But I don't know if dad confronted that man. So no, on top of everything else everyone has said, don't ever ever ever abuse (physical, emotional, mental) any person or animal in front of kids. Some kids remember it for life like me while others might just emulate it since it seems ok for adults to do it.
Well! There are many no, no things in that regard, but I think one should never fight in front of kids. Though, I myself of guilty doing this many a times, but I am correcting myself. Once, we were arguing in our car, when my daughter said, "I will get out of the car, if you both will not stop fighting." Once, I saw my brother and his wife arguing when suddenly their 8 year old son burst into tears. So, kids get deeply hurt when they see the two people whom they love the most in the world fighting. They become insecure perhaps, and it makes them feel that their ideal world, where they all love each other is breaking.
Swearing. I've seen a lot of parents (some are even my relatives) who swear and curse in front of their children. Though they don't mean to say it and most of the time they curse or swear out of habit and fun, their children were able to adapt the language (that they don't even understand). I've heard my three y/o niece cursing her playmate while laughing thinking that it's funny because her dad and mom are doing it on a regular basis. Parents should be the role model for their children so it's best to quit their bad habits unless they want their children to do the same in the near future.
I think parents should not swear in front of their kids. They also should refrain from engaging in behavior that is harmful to others, even if it's only verbal. I also think parents should not be dishonest to others. But it's also important to remember that even the little things can send the wrong message. Passing off acts of omission as "white lies", for instance, can establish a harmful behavioral pattern which can evolve into more dangerous acts such as cheating, or lying to parents because they might think it can be justified as simply "white lies".
On top of Hui Qun's comment, I sincerely believe a parent shouldn't fight with one another in front of their kids. If there is a need to, close the doors and soften your vocie. Or if this is impossible, one partner can leave the place for awhile until both has calm down to talk without screaming bloody murder. Another thing is, always treat service staff with respect. I think this something most parents forget about and it's just so said to see kids nowadays talk in such a haughty tone to a service staff. "Please" and "Thank you" are definitely a must.
Parents must avoid technological over indulgence, especially if they own an ipad or a laptop or a fancy phone. There are two reasons: 1. This can make the child think that they are no longer important to their parents because they have been replaced by technology. 2. This will encourage young children to constantly use technology as the primary recreational activity as opposed to physical activities.
Here are some of the things I feel parents shouldn’t do in front of their children: - Smoking - Swearing - Spending too much time on their phones/laptops/devices - Having double standards (forbidding your children from doing something but not extending the same rule to yourself; e.g., not allowing them to drink soft drinks but drinking one in front of them)
To not do what you don't wish for them to do. I, for one, have never seen my parents swear or argue in front of me. Hence, I never thought it is appropriate to swear (or understood the reason for swearing). Instead, be a role model and practice what you preach. Lead by example and your child/children will pick up your behaviours and values naturally.
I think everyone pretty much covered what I woul share as well. I guess in summary it would be a 'don't behave like a douche' policy in front of the kids and they should grow up fine. There are definitely some habits of mine that I definitely picked up from my parents and hope to God I don't pass it onto my kids one day.
No child should ever see their parents argue, smoke, do drugs, swear, get drunk. Parents should also be careful not to show contradictory behavior (not practicing what they preach). For example if you're against swearing, don't swear when your children can hear it.