Go to mum’s place everyday during ML

Just random. Hi mummies with babies, esp newborn, anyone went to their mum’s place everyday or most days when their husband goes to work I gave birth 2 months ago via emergency csect. My first baby. Ive been staying with my in law ever since married and never once stayed over at my mum’s. I also did confinement at my in laws since im staying there. I find myself always thinking about my pain and depression there, im always crying every single day. I was having post partum blues, i hated my baby i hated motherhood, esp when my husband already started working, i cried everytime he had to go to work, despite my in law still at home. Last few weeks i decided to go to my mum’s place every weekday when my husband’s working, my in law also started working but half day. And i realised, i feel happier here, and my mental health is better. I did not cry anymore and started to love my baby? And then i decided and told my husband that i want to go to my mum’s whenever he goes to work, until my ML ends, which he happily agreed. But im scared im the only person that relies on my mum when it comes to caring for baby. Im scared i wont be independent as im always here and my mum’s been a great help. I do most of the baby stuff tho. Just curious if theres any mums out there, esp first time mum, who goes to their mum’s place whenever their husband is not at home. Just so theres a third person to help with baby. #firsttimemom

Vô danh

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Please don't be worried or guilty abt getting ur mom's help! For moms who just gave birth esp for FTM, u definitely need all the help and if ur mom is able to give that happiness to u, tt's great! For me, I stayed over at my mom's throughout my confinement for my firstborn, and am very thankful for all her care and concern. Honestly even with tt, I did have postnatal blues due to difficulties of breastfeeding. I had v low supply and having to supplement baby with formula frm birth made me feel so incompetent as a mother but my own mom reassured me tt I was doing my best and my mental health is most important. I even continued to stay over at my mom's on wksays after that for 2 whole years because my workplace was near hers and she helped to take care of him. My hubby wld stay over sometimes but most days he had to stay home as our hse is nearer to his mom who needed his help to go for her regular chemo. I think it's great tt ur hubby allows tt and shows he knows abt ur needs. So do continue with whatever arrangements tt work for u. I myself wld definitely be more comfortable with my own mom than MIL. And now tt I just got my 2nd baby, my mom now stays over at our house on most days to help me out with my toddler as he goes to childcare near our block. My parents are even in the process of selling their house in the North to move near us in the East so tt they can help whatever they can with our kids. Most grandparents wld definitely do whatever they can to see their grandkids more often. Definitely be grateful for all the help we get as they are others who unfortunately do not have the village that they need.

hi mama! im a ftm, my LO is 8 months old and i go to my mum's place every weekday, even if my husband wfh. im staying with my in laws too and they are not working. my in laws & husband don't mind me going over to my mum's place too. i won't feel stressed up or what when im in my in laws place but yes im definitely happier when i go to my mum's place because she is my mum, took care of me ever since im born til now, she knows me the BEST and willing to take care of my LO together with me. don't feel like you are relying on your mum whenever you go back because yes, ftm, we really need a lot of help. post partum depression is REAL and we really need someone to take care of our baby sometimes. if your in laws & husband agree that you go to your mum's place every weekdays, just go ahead!😁

Hello, don’t worry about “relying” on your mom too much. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a kid. Accept all the help that is available. Infants require attention and adult’s responses to their cries to feel safe and loved. If you can achieve this with your mom’s help and get some mental well-being, why not? There are many ways to raise a baby, and the more support the better. As you get help, you’ll have more capacity to rest, heal and mental-wellness to provide for your baby. You’ll also learn to handle baby better through trial and error as the month(s) passes by. I had my 2nd child four months ago and counting my blessing for the help from extended families.

Hey there. There is nothing wrong in asking for help and relying on someone right now. I have been at my mum's place ever since I got pregnant. It is of great help with having people around for help and any emergencies etc. Be wherever you feel is comfortable for you. Changing the environment helps you, so go for it. Atleast now you figured and feel where you are feeling better, that's a good start. Good start and go for it with all your heart. You have to be comfortable first. Hope this helps.

My mum comes over to help me in the afternoons as she works in the morning, and I really appreciate her presence and help, even if she's just sitting there. I feel like I'm not alone with baby. I think it's fine, it's just during ML anyway. As a ftm, we need all the support we can get.

absolutely nth wrong with that. i spent confinement at my mum’s with my first one and my parents always willingly helped me with baby and ask me to rest more. First one currently in preschool and second on the way my parents and in laws are more than happy and helpful

Even though my mother merely sits there, I greatly value her presence and assistance when she comes over to help me in the https://papas-freezeria.com afternoons while she works in the morning.

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both sets of grandparents help to take care of my LOs & I stay over at both places even up to Pri Sch 🥰

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