Grandma who doesn’t follow any rules

Hey other mums, how do you handle a grandma who basically doesn’t respect your parenting style and breaks all rules that you set up? For example 1. Letting your kid watch tv when she doesn’t usually get any screen time 2. Putting her to bed 2 hours after her usual bed time 3. Eating pancakes and chocolates and other junk that she usually doesn’t eat (though asks for) 4. Buys her dolls and princess toys and pink frilly clothes and calls her princess ( I am trying to raise an independent child who is gender neutral and hopefully likes STEM) My Daughter absolutely adores her grandma, and I know my mum loves my kid a lot too. But how do I get it into my mum that all of these rules in my home I set up are critical to me and whenever she “spoils” my child I end up having a tough time course correcting. Also my mums excuse is it’s fine, normal, she did it for me and I turned out fine. My argument is I turned out fine in spite and not because of all this. Plus the lack of routine, bad diets and bed times really did have a negative impact on me and has been something I have grappled with even as an adult. Pls advice. Am at my wits end and I don’t want to shout at my mum but I also know that speaking nicely doesn’t work.

Vô danh

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This happens with my own mother too, but unfortunately I'm not able to move out. Pick your battles. As long as it doesn't hurt your child, it is fine to close one eye for your sanity. It irks me to hear her nasty comments about my parenting style, and to see her do things "her way", but as long as I enforce my own rules with my own kids, they know who they can/can't step over. When I see something I don't like, I say it out loud, indirectly to my mother. I often let her suffer the consequences of her own actions, and I've noticed that she started to change a tiny bit too: e.g. She gives my kids snacks often, so they start whining when they can't get it. Then she'll get frustrated. Lately I noticed she starts explaining when they can't have the snack (just like I do), and then she doesn't need to suffer the tantrums. Imitation is the best form of flattery; use it to your advantage! All the best, Mummy! I hope you find something that works for both!

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Home Random Talk other mums how handle grandma who basically doesnt respect your parenting style breaks rules that set example1 letting your kid watch tv when doesnt usually get screen time2 putting bed 2 hours after usual bed time 3 eating pancakes chocolates other junk that usually doesnt eat though asks 4 buys dolls princess toys pink frilly clothes calls princess i trying raise independent child who gender neutral hopefully likes stem daughter absolutely