Now currently im having a two month old daughter , returning to work around june .. Been hating almost everything , including the thoughts of leaving my girl wit a maid who is a stranger .. Hate the thinking of she might b close to the maid next tym rather dn me who is the mother for her .. Been having many thoughts of cutting wrist , whenever my daughter dun slp in the middle of the night or wen i need my slp i feel so angry that i beat her .. Bt aft awhile , think n feel so heartache .. Am i turning into a monster ? Been having mood swing easily .. Frm happy now cn turn irritated next sec .. Feeling a sense of fear inside me ..

It does sounds like you may be exhibiting signs of depression. Just for your reference, here are some common signs of postpartum depression: Social withdrawal, low energy, decreased sex drive, exhaustion and an overwhelming sense of despair. There are also some less common symptoms, which most are unaware of. - frequent headaches, stomach upsets and even panic attacks. - intrusive, disturbing thoughts. Usually, these thoughts will often revolve around the baby and scenarios that involve accidents, injuries and even the death of the little one and will leave you in a frightened and anxious state - eating much more than usual, and even after you are full - frequently having brain fog. It could start by having difficulty in remembering things, inability to multitask, inability to finish even a simple task, and just going through the day as if in a daze. - appears disconnected from life and no longer cared about your appearance, the family or the baby - often angry or irritated. At the tiniest provocation, will yell at everyone, throw things, or stomp feet in frustration. - appears to have bonding issues with the baby, such as feeling distant, uninterested and sometimes even resentful of the baby. You can refer to these two articles for more signs to watch out for: [This article described the symptoms in easy-to-relate way] http://www.postpartumprogress.com/the-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression-anxiety-in-plain-mama-english [And this article highlighted eight symptoms that are not often mentioned] http://sg.theasianparent.com/8-unexpected-symptoms-of-postpartum-depression/ As for whether your baby knows what is going on, I have read that It only takes a few weeks for a baby to visually distinguish between his or her mother and other adults. The constant sounds and sights are soothing to the child and are missed when gone. Especially since you are exclusively breastfeeding your baby, you can rest assure that she is able to identify you as her main caregiver and would be seeking comfort from you. Take care of yourself and do consider seeking professional help if you think that you may be having some of the symptoms for postpartum depression.

mummy, it is definitely hard to see your own baby being cared by another adult other than u. However, the first few months are the most difficult of the caring process. U need someone to help you while u recover from your wounds. It sounds like you might be having postnatal depression where you have mood swings including hurting yourself. You are not a monster but it might signal that you need self care for yourself before you can care for your baby. Talk to a counsellor at Family Service Centre or your husband or any close friends. Dont worry, your baby wont forget or leave you. The maid is only a temporary help and you will be with your baby till she grows up. You are the best and nobody can replace a mother.

Hi mummy, Dont worry that your child will be close to your maid. I have a maid too for 2 years, I was extremely worry that my son will not want me after she left. But I was so wrong... my son still want me. That was a relieved. Meanwhile, I think you should talk to your hubby about the emotional part. You need someone to talk to because it is so dangerous to have the thought of cutting your wrist. The mood swing is giving you an early sign of depression stage. Dont ignore the mood swing, it will turn bad if you ignore it. Take care mummy. If you need support, please write in parenttown, we will assist you at our very best.

Does babies stick to mummies that will breastfeed them? As now im currently breastfeeding her exclusively.. Will she noe wad happening ? Like when im bck to work .. For the mood swing been tryin hard to calm myself down .. Bt whenever thing dun go well or when someone in the house say something i dun like , the mood swing n al wil b even more worse

you are obviously worn out from baby caring. yes night time are usually tiring when our kid doesn't want to sleep. mood swings are actually normal due to our changing hormones after pregnancy. do seek help if you feel that you are getting a little bit out of control

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Don't worry ~ ur baby won't forget u , my friends from Malaysia and work in Singapore, their babies still close to them~