Hi mummies. My husband asks if he can go on a volunteer trip with his company committee to Batam for 1 night at the end of the year. By then, I would have delivered my baby for less than a month. Do you think its right that he goes? Its not impt at all, but he wants to go. I felt quite upset abt it, like he is throwing his responsibilities at me just to have fun. Seems like he have no idea the amt of ‘work’ that needs to be done with a baby.

Ranting abt my husband Hi mummies. My husband asks if he can

I understand how you feel. My husband asked if he can go for a company trip (4D3N) while I was still on confinement (first day to be exact). I rejected and explained to him that we are FTP, no help from any parents and I don’t think it’s nice for him to throw me alone to figure out how to do this while he’s out there enjoying himself. I told him that he can go after baby is 1yo. Angry? Yes confirm will, especially when I’m so lack of sleep and everything feels so new. But at least he bothered to ask me(and respected my rejection) rather than suddenly MIA. My baby is 19mo, he’s back from company trip yesterday 😂.

Hi first of all husbands can really seem clueless and he did ask you meaning he’s open to discussion? For me less than one month I wld’ve still had my nanny with me so I won’t be alone, furthermore it’s one night only he’s not asking to go on holiday for a week so I personally wld allow. But of course this is ultimately between you and your husband, I just want to add on to not get angry but if you really need him around to communicate lovingly that you need his support during this crucial newborn phase. Communication is impt when a baby enters a couple’s lives as things will get so tough!

Hi first of all husbands can really seem clueless and he did ask you meaning he’s open to discussion? For me less than one month I wld’ve still had my nanny with me so I won’t be alone, furthermore it’s one night only he’s not asking to go on holiday for a week so I personally wld allow. But of course this is ultimately between you and your husband, I just want to add on to not get angry but if you really need him around to communicate lovingly that you need his support during this crucial newborn phase. Communication is impt when a baby enters a couple’s lives as things will get so tough!

I agree with another mummy that if he asked, it means he is open to discussion. Do let him know calmly that you need him during this period of time and hope that he understands. Men can be dense sometimes,but sometimes all it takes is to explain your POV for him to understand why he shouldn't go now. He can always go when baby is older and both of you are more confident in handling the baby. I also feel that it goes both ways sometimes. At some point, you'll also feel the need for personal time, and will need his support to tank the baby by himself.

Personally for me, i wont allow. I didnt even allow my husband to be the best man for his close friend’s wedding which will be going on end of year, by then baby is 3 months and he understands it. Sometimes we have to be stern too and sometimes husband wont really know anything and the amount of responsibility once you have a child. Plus if baby less than a month i believe both parents need to work together esp the husband need to really support and help the wife.

no, I will reject the husband trip, coz during the first few months of newborn , there are so many things to adapt and do around the newborn, it's too overwhelming for the new mum, she will need all the support tat she can get. if the mum is alone taking care of baby, sometimes she might not even have time to go washroom or bath. In addition, new mum need to recover her own health from the child birth, especially during the first 2 months after childbirth.

I might be ok coz its just one night. I dun have an option to choose coz when he tells me its really telling me that theres no option 😅 he once told me he might fly for wks for work (prob 2 mths after i pop)! I have no help from parents and i have another toddler to handle tooo.

Yeah maybe he doesn’t realize how important to give you whatever help and support you need and thinks it’s just for 1 night.. I’ll also not allow

No I won’t allow too. First month is tough and you will need all the support you can get.

yes. it will be ok for me if its just 1 night. 🙂