maternity leave ending soon... but i dont want MIL to take care of my baby

Hi Moms... I dont know what to do. My maternity leave is ending soon, and I will have to go back to work. Initially, I was set on putting my baby in daycare while I'm at the office. However, MIL wants to take care of my baby.... To be honest, after seeing what she did with my sister-in-law's daughter, I can't trust her. My mother-in-law was once caught giving a banana to the baby, who was only 4 MONTHS OLD at the time. Even when caught, she didn't think it was wrong... she said, "What's wrong with giving a banana? It was mashed and just a little bit." Besides that, she would secretly take the baby out even though she had been told not to. Although she has apologized, I still can't trust her. But my husband says I'm being mean if I don't let her take care of our baby, and that I should give her a chance. We've had big arguments about this with no clear resolution. I'm out of ideas on how to keep my mother-in-law from taking care of my baby............. please help :(

Vô danh

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If I were u I wld just put my baby in ifc. Try to talk to ur husband tt there's more benefit sending ur kid to ifc as she'll learn more in a sch setting. For myself, my firstborn was taken care of by my own mom for the first 2 years. At tt time it was thought of as the best decision as I didn't want my baby to get sick often which will happen in ifc. but the consequence is tt my boy got so pampered by his grandma, for e.g my mom wld let him watch tv every day, every time she needed to do housework. I totally understand tt it's inevitable cz it's really hard to juggle housework with child rearing esp with a baby who started walking very early at 8+ mths so we couldn't keep him in a playard for long, he cld climb out easily. Thus giving him screen time is the only easy way to keep him still so allowing my mom to do other things without him walking ard the house. This is a common issue among my friends too who had parents helping to take care of their children. Some grandparents also couldn't take it when their kids tell them what can or cannot do with their grandchildren (sth tt u need to be prepared next time if any issue crops up with the way your MIL takes care of ur child). For me, it's easier for me to talk to my mom because well, she's my own mom and she is receptive to whatever we say and will ask us first if want to feed sth new but I just had to close one eye abt the screen time issue. It did somehow caused my boy to have a slight speech delay but aft we sent him to childcare at 2+ years old, he quickly caught up and now a chatterbox at 3 years old. So I think if it's MIL, it's gonna be a bit harder to handle. Maybe if she's very eager to take care, perhaps u may want to let her fetch your baby sometimes? Take the time to go out for dinner with ur hubby or friends perhaps. or on wkends. I do that after my boy started childcare. and now my with 2nd, I'm sending her to IFC. my mom helps to fetch her sometimes if I come home late frm work.

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