someone older once asked me why are women these days so silly, need to split bills, house also half half cpf contribution etc. he proudly say his wedding, house all paid by him, to have a wife n a family of course as a man he need to shoulder the responsibility. I was taken aback n had a good time debating with him. As a wife, it's my duty to ensure my husband don't have that sort of stress in shouldering finance responsibilities just because he is a man. if we both can afford and to even make our lives easier, better and more comfortable then why let just 1 person alone handle it. Of course if your husband is born with a silver spoon, holding a salary x 3 more than u and he volunteers to take care of you that's a different story. I take pride in being able to help out with finances matters, because this way we both can afford to eat whatever we want, buy whatever we want and travel to Europe twice a year and smaller trips whenever time permits. now with a kid coming along, it's even more helpful where we set aside a bulk each for the delivery. he paid all e gynae visits and I pay for my own confinement food and postpartum massages. cute baby stuff? if he like it n he wants to get it by all means, same here n I won't go asking him back for items I paid for our child. and we will never allow our family to influence or even talk abt our own finances. u shld bring it up to him, u are mature enough to have a family means u r mature enough to handle ur own finances with parents interfering.
It's nice of you not to mind splitting, but I think you should still have a good discussion with him as to what both of you think of your current expense distribution and what is considered fair. Diff people have diff interpretations of fairness, you may be thinking you are accomodating him, while he may be thinking that he is being more than fair. This should be brought up to the open now since this is the first time the topic came up, in case this becomes a festering issue in your relationship over time. I don't think the immediate reaction should be a tit for tat and ask him to pay for other items. He's an adult and I doubt his parents can influence him that much. Does he think he had little say over the mattress purchase and is angry over it? Is he unbalanced because he felt he had already been paying too much in the past? Is he just trying to placate his parents and intend to make it up to you next purchase? Before having a discussion let's not jump into a potential quarrel about past purchases. You're in this journey together, you will start off with different expectations, but mutual understanding, not judging each other, and open communication can bring you together as partners.
I think it depends on your individual situation. For us we don't really mind the finances, but if one of us had been paying a lot of major bills (like recently my hubs had been paying for IVF costs because my cc doesn't have benefits) I will offer to transfer a lump sum to even out our personal bank accounts. If I were in your shoes where we had not been calculative about expenses and suddenly he asks to split bills I would be concerned and ask him why. Is he in financial difficulties? Did he think the current arrangement is unfair? If he wants to start splitting evenly this should apply to all shared major expenses, including the baby furniture and hospital bills, it cannot be just the items he pays for. You need to communicate with him, this is can be the start of a slippery slope you do not want to fall down.
for us, Major expenses like house, furniture, medical bills, insurance and endowment for babies and babies cot, pram is co share... minor stuff small items like grocery, babies clothing, diapers and daily expenses etc depends on who is buying online or who go supermarket loh. he give his parents allowance while I give mine. we pay for our own cars installment individually so u just gonna discuss who is in charge of what "department" same situation as to housework, who do what
I feel husband should be the one paying. but if u r earning more then ur husband, u can help ur hubby to pay but not everything. if u pay everything, afraid guy would take things for granted. I'm earning more then my hubby but I still want him to pay some of the items, he even offered if i can pay first he would pay me back by instalment, I said OK. its the thoughts that counts actually not really want him to pay $ 😆😆
I had the same concern too. So we end up having a joint account. Each month we contribute the same percentage of our salary into the account. Eg. 20% of his and 20% of mine. Then whatever we spend on we just deduct from this account. There will be a lot more charges when baby arrives. So better to ask him to start sharing now
Mi and my husband put 20% of our monthly income into our joint acc. All household and baby things we will take from there... As my hubs earns more so his share of 20% also higher. So i think its a fair thing. Having a family and baby tgt, so i think its fair to spilt the cost..
the parents should be teaching their son to take care of his family. his wife is his family. His parents should mind their own business if they cant teach their son to be a man.
I think best is to sort out going forward. Some people joint account and deduct from there, for me, we decide what my husband pay (e.g. baby items, grocery) and what I pay bills etc
Tell him to wash his clothes, share the household chores etc then. Whether is his parents' idea to ask you to split the cost is immaterial as he is mature enough to make decision.