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It is common that after the arrival of children, the couple take on the role of parents and forgot that they are also “husband and wife”. It is inevitable as children take up much of your attention and time. If you are working and your children have daycare arrangements, consider taking half-day offs to go on a date with your husband. Have real conservations and try to leave the kids out of the topics. If you are not working and going out in the afternoon is not possible, you can try to arrange for your children to have a sleepover at your in-laws, or have someone to look after them for a couple of hours. The key is to go on a date without the children and without feeling “parents guilt”. If going out on a couple’s date is really not an option, spend a few minutes before sleeping to have a simple chat. Again, talk about anything but the kids.
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I agree that kids are important but without a strong marriage the family will not sustain. I am a sahm, and I do find myself too occupied with kids Here are some suggestions: -Occasionally, a short trip will help to rebuild the relationship. -During normal days, you can go for groceries or dinner together, just both of you. -If you are the sole care taker of the kids in the family, you can request neighbor or relatives or friends to help to take care for a while, 1-2 hours for both of you to spend couple time e.g. romantic dinner or movie. -A couple diary will help to make both understand each other better.
Me and my hub take private time seriously. We will go on trips, celebrate special dates privately. I always tell him even a meal also doesnt matter! Its the time spent together, just us. Kinda a very lame you see me i see you. But it means alot. We cuddle to sleep together everytime, as long as we are both in the bed. We hold hands when we head out. And we kiss everytime we bid goodbye(like he leaves for work). And yes, we try new things in the bedroom too. Continue doing the things you would do when you are dating.
To have a healthy relationship, like a plant, you have to take care of it. And to keep your relationship going you need to keep doing new things to keep boredom at bay. You can make weekend plans, a short trip to a nearby place will do the trick for you. You can leave the kids with your parents or can tell a relative to babysit them. You can make out time when the kids have gone to school. Catch a movie, cook with each other, go to spa together etc.
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Know your husband's love language. I have also mentioned this in another thread. No matter how much effort we exert, if we are not "hitting" our spouse's love language, they still won't feel loved. For example, your husband's love language is "words of affirmation", you can give him compliments or say encouraging words. But please do not that you also have to be sincere when you say it.
Same situation here and very sad that no more love exist. I am sad after my 3rd child. My hubby taking care 2 elder one and I am taking care baby. I am full time working mum too., plus he is not understand I am like 24/7 tiring. Basically no talking after work and just need to settle my baby to sleep.
Six years and 3 kids is not easy! It can be pretty exhausting for both the parents. You can get someone to babysit on weekends and go for a coffee or dinner. Try to cuddle and watch movies or simply chat once the kids are off to bed.
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