miscarriage 5 times , my mind is not good

I just want to share to clear my mind... This is my f6th pregnancy, after experiencing five miscarriages before... Honestly, from being excited initially, now I feel more bored and numb, even thinking that this pregnancy might fail again... But it turns out we're holding on, and now it's almost 6 months. But my mental state is really shattered, I'm afraid to do anything, even the pressure from my family is immense. If anything happens, they will blame me, as they did before. The doctor said my pregnancy is weak and I really need to be on bed rest. Has anyone experienced the same thing?