I am a SAHM with 2 kids. I left my high pay job to care for my child as we are unable to find a good nanny nor helper and we got no help from our parents. At the beginning, I am still using my own saving from family expanse so there is no attitude change in my hubby. The moment I start getting household allowance he started to give me black face. He never help out in the house or make decisions for kids by giving excuse like he respect all my decisions but will start showing me his black face when I don't see eye to eye on his "opinion or decision". For example, he want to see his parents on one Sunday and I told him I will prefer to stay at home to rest due to the sleepless night as my kid is teething. He will say ok but start showing black face or talk to me rudely until I give in. He also stop communicating with me saying that he don't understand my "housewife" mindset or complaining that I talk to him at wrong hours. But there is never a time to talk to him at all. For example, he told me not to discuss anything with him before he go to work, on his way to work, during his work time, during his lunch time, right after he come home, while he is eating or playing his phone nor before he sleep. Also he expected me to keep house spank and clean, preparing dinner on top of caring for our girls and visiting his parents every week. (I don't really like to visit my in-laws as they did the same to me right after I resigned to be a housewife.) If I don't, he will start shout and showing me "black face" again. With all those requirements to fulfil, he expect me to be loving and send him "love" message every day. When I try to explain to him, he will start comparing me with his friends' Wife and start belittle my characters. I don't feel love at all from him or respect by his family and start thinking if I should get a job and start planning my divorce with him as he only use me as a helper. However, I am concern for my kids as they are still so young. What should I do?

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My Win-Win Solution 1) What was his reason to go back home? he miss his parents? Maybe can suggest he bring the kids to see his MIL, while you rest at home. win-win! 2) Given the high conflict situation, i think he meant he don't want to be affected at work and might even lose his job. (trust me no one like going out of the house feeling angry) Maybe set aside 30 minutes a day to talk? No HP or anything! win-win 3)Also he expected me to keep house spank and clean, preparing dinner on top of caring for our. Is certainly tiring to clean the house, maybe can consider hiring part time helper once a week? Both of you can get some rest and won't be so easily irritable! win-win, pocket lose a bit. 3) With all those requirements to fulfil, he expect me to be loving and send him "love" message every day. When I try to explain to him, he will start comparing me with his friends' -> He needs a bit of love ;) Does he reply to your lovey dovey message? If he doesn't then tell him he has to do it too ;) win-win! 4) I don't feel love at all from him or respect by his family and start thinking if I should get a job and start planning my divorce with him as he only use me as a helper. -> Yes you should consider getting a job but don't jump into divorce. With the passage of time, things will improve. Anyway the longer the marriage the more you can get from him. ! win-win 5) However, I am concern for my kids as they are still so young. What should I do? -> Read "Putting Children First - Proven Parenting Strategies for Helping Child Thrive Through Divorce if it ever comes to that. ! Win-Win

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7y trước

1. What is the bad experience? If it does not amount to child abuse, there is no reason why the child cannot experience the love of both families. 2. You did not reply to the other suggestions. 3. I feel you are dominating over your kids, it is unhealthy for both your kids and you. Please kind seek counselling on your behavior.