I am a SAHM with 2 kids. I left my high pay job to care for my child as we are unable to find a good nanny nor helper and we got no help from our parents. At the beginning, I am still using my own saving from family expanse so there is no attitude change in my hubby. The moment I start getting household allowance he started to give me black face. He never help out in the house or make decisions for kids by giving excuse like he respect all my decisions but will start showing me his black face when I don't see eye to eye on his "opinion or decision". For example, he want to see his parents on one Sunday and I told him I will prefer to stay at home to rest due to the sleepless night as my kid is teething. He will say ok but start showing black face or talk to me rudely until I give in. He also stop communicating with me saying that he don't understand my "housewife" mindset or complaining that I talk to him at wrong hours. But there is never a time to talk to him at all. For example, he told me not to discuss anything with him before he go to work, on his way to work, during his work time, during his lunch time, right after he come home, while he is eating or playing his phone nor before he sleep. Also he expected me to keep house spank and clean, preparing dinner on top of caring for our girls and visiting his parents every week. (I don't really like to visit my in-laws as they did the same to me right after I resigned to be a housewife.) If I don't, he will start shout and showing me "black face" again. With all those requirements to fulfil, he expect me to be loving and send him "love" message every day. When I try to explain to him, he will start comparing me with his friends' Wife and start belittle my characters. I don't feel love at all from him or respect by his family and start thinking if I should get a job and start planning my divorce with him as he only use me as a helper. However, I am concern for my kids as they are still so young. What should I do?

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Hi Mommy, I'm sorry everything is tough for you now. I hope things will get better for you soon. Maybe you can consider daycare or child care for the kids while you go back to the working world? And see if things between your husband will improve when you have a job again. I kindda know how you feel. I had a really good job that paid really well and I resigned 2 years ago to be with my partner who lives overseas. I also decided to continue my studies overseas. My partner has been supportive and kind but his family is the one who treat me differently as if I am living off their son. I was really hurt initially and dreaded seeing them but I am now done with school and will be rejoining the working world. I realise now that I don't really care what they think and their opinion about me shouldn't matter. Prove them wrong! I hope you figure things out and find your own way soon. My view is that you get a job again and have some of your own "power". It's unfortunate and sad but as women, there is so much expected of us -- be a good mother, a good housewife and also a career woman.

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