How to start trusting after cheating

I am a mother of 2 young kids (both less than 2yr old). My husband cheated. Initially, i thought it were massages with special services only. Cried talking to him, he denied and said that i overthink, it was normal massages and if I m concerned, he shall not go anymore. However, within 1 week after our talk, I found that he still continue to search online for such services and lied about his whereabout. Recently, found out through his phone messages that he has been engaging prostitutes. I sat down to talk to him, he denied too, saying that he search/enquire for fun, its just enquiry, he never go.. but i saw everything including messages like location to meet, he has reached and the after review etc..when I told him what I have seen in phone, he tried to deny it but did not dare to show me the phone when i asked for it, and said that if i don't like, he shall not 'enquire' again, he said he still know his priority is still the family. I didn't want to keep arguing with him to get him admit as it feel it will go nowhere. To me, if he is willing to stop, I will let it go and move on. I know I am silly, but i also tell him that if for some reasons he just can't stop the desire to go, he should just be honest to me, i am prepared to consider some arrangment ie. Let him to go occasionally but he should try to limit the times, no emotional attachments and must practice safety measures to protect me & child. He said that he don't need such arrangement, he will just stop. Throughout the talk with him, he has never apologise to me, just deny and say he won't go or enquire again, his priority is still the family and that we should move on. It has been few days since the talk, now whenever he is using the phone, I got very worried, wonder if he still arranging to go. He has even changed the phone password as he knew i found out by checking his phone. How does couple gain back each other trusts after cheating? Should I be concerned that he changed his phone password? I also starting to doubt myself and whether he really still love me..or am I just someone to take care of his kids now.

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Hi Mummy, it definitely breaking for you.. Tbh, e part of “consider some arrangement” I completely disagree! You’re his lawful spouse, and he should only be loyal faithful to you be it emotional or physically! When a guy changed his phone password after wife/GF found out him cheating do you really think he still can be trusted? At least to me is a no. Same thing, ask your husband can he accept if you did e same thing he has done? Can he accept you to occasionally have ONS with any person even if no emotion attached? I can tell from your post that you wanna some of us here to support you giving in for such “special arrangement”. I won’t be surprised one day he might have a real affair (3rd party) and might ask for divorce if you really give in now.. Please be firm and say no to him! This is e best way to protect you, your kids and your family as whole.. Be strong Mummy! 💪🏻

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