I think, it doesn't actually matter for how long a couple is married, as discord can arise at any point of time in a marriage be it one year old or 20 year old. You know, I will tell you from my personal experience that what works for me is communication. And what doesn't work for me is, lack of communication. When both of us fight, we at times stop talking to each other. And that is the worst that happens in a marriage. I think you guys need to sit and talk. Since, he is your husband, and hiding it from him that you need him badly doesn't solve anything. So, tell him up straight that you need him. Have a pact sort of thing that whenever he will come back from work, you guys will not sleep till you have not spent at least half an hour of alone time. I mean you can work on things that are lacking in your life and improve them. Rest, I think you must engage yourself in some activity or something that keeps you busy. That is good for your personal growth as well. Or you can start reading. Look for good novels and read whatever genre interest you.
i can so understand your situation and your emotions, because i have been through the same myself. as someone who has lived with loneliness and handled two daughters mostly myself, i will suggest that you start looking for work options that you can do either from home or from outside, depending on the age of your kids and their care arrangements. one of the most important thing for you right now is to become financially independent and also use your time in a constructive way, for yourself. if you don't want to get into a job, you can do something that interests you - maybe take a cooking or baking class, teach dance or art, give tuitions - whatever you are interested in and something that also preferably can get you some money. and hey, try not to fight in front of the kids. the day you start taking time out for yourself, you'll feel happier, and your kids will benefit from the same too. and when your hubby sees you don't need him all the time, he himself will come for you. stay strong :)
Hi, I think you should talk to your husband and let him know what all you are going through. Tell him as candidly as possible that you long for his love. Also, whatever time you get together like, on his offs, plan an outing, a trip, a movie together, a candle night dinner, be at home. Put the kids to bed early and have your alone time. Try from your end to make most of the time that you get together. When your husband will also enjoy this personal space with you, he too will make efforts to spend time with you. Apart from this, you can get yourself engaged in some activity. Since, you bake cakes, you can have an online Facebook page or create a group on watsapp and let people know what you bake and can take orders and have your own little thing to do. It will not only fetch you money but will also keep you enthusiastic and engaged.
i will suggest that you talk to him and tell him honestly how you feel. of course he may think you are complaining, it is a basic nature most of us have. so instead of talking to him when he is already angry, try talking to him on a day when he is at home and relaxed. initiate the conversation and do something special for him, such as make his favourite foods and create a candlelight dinner at home. if he is always stressed for time, try using smaller moments to spend quality time with each other :) but most important, talk to him and share your emotions and desires.
Pls work on your communication skills. It's necessary for both of u to realize the need to express yourself to each other. If not possible, please see a marriage counselor. A neutral person can help facilitate the conversation in the positive direction of actually understanding each other's needs instd of what sparks flares.
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Monika Chaudhry