I got married 3 years back . But things are not going well..actually my hubby is not good with my parents . He started making fun of them showing them down in front of others. Always try that I cannot meet with my parents. Life is just like hell...what to do

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Dear Maninder, I think many of us Indian women go through this scenario, because most men in our culture are taught that it is good to disrespect your in-laws and treat your wife like this, as it shows what a man you are..so so wrong! I am sure you have been a very polite and nice person till now, but for the sake of your parents and also for your own respect, you have to put a stop to this. tell your husband in very firm voice that he has to immediately stop being disrespectful towards your parents. if he does not listen and disrespects them, dont shy away from repeating it again in front of everyone. say something such as, ''did your parents never teach you that by disrespecting others you are actually reducing respect for your own self?' or, 'i can see that i cannot expect any better from you. you really are ruining your own respect yourself.' it is only when you start humiliating him in front of others the way he does to you and your parents, will he understand. sorry, but most Indian men only realize this way. also, you do not permission from him or anyone to meet your in-laws, and make it very clear. be strong woman....all will be fine.

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Oh! I can very well understand what you mean. I have myself bear this after my marriage. My husband made fun of my parents a few times with friends who were common to us. And then, would pass sarcastic remarks about them. And it all happened because he was too much influenced by his family. But I from the very beginning fought over the fact that he made fun of my parents and how dare he say things about them. I told him that I bear all nonsense of his parents 24/7 and if at all my parents talk nonsense then he just have to bear that only once in a while when he makes a visit to their place. Think about me who has to bear nonsense of your parents all the while. I have always fought for the respect of my parents and have never allowed him to talk bad or belittle them. I do not care what goes in his head but I would never listen to anything ill about my parents. So, I think you too should make him clear and tell him that when you respectfully deal with your parents so he too will have to, else you will also deal with his parents the way he does with yours.

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You know this is perhaps a thing with average Indian men. They would want their wife to be good, sweet talking and well behaved when it comes to their parents and even the whole society does moral policing if the woman doesn't behave well with man's parents, but there is no one who would tell the same thing to a man when he misbehaves with the parents of his wife. It is sad, and it is how our society brings up its boys. They are pardoned for most of the things in life and they are given all sorts of liberties and ill behaviour with wife's parents is one of them. I think, you should let your husband know that you do not approve of his behaviour towards your parents and you will not take it anymore. Tell him either you behave well with my parents or there is no need for him to establish any relationship with them. Tell him there is no need to visit your parents for him if he can not behave well. Tell him, you will deal with your parents and you do not want him to come to your parents place or anything.

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8y trước

if I says d same thing as I hv mentioned then he make sure dat I will nt meet dem...as being Husband he should be invited by dem and ask him to hv a visit to my parental.home.

dear Maninder, feeling sad about it is not worth it, as it will not help you in any way. the only thing to do is to tell him very clearly that you will not tolerate this behaviour, and he needs to learn to respect your parents. if he can't, he better stop talking to them and about them, whether in front of you or to others. also, tell him that you do not need anyone's permission to meet your parents, and if he has a problem, he has to learn to deal with it. if he does not behave and still disrespects your parents, even in front of others, get down to his level and immediately tell then, ''sorry, but my husband does not understand about basic respect and values, so please don't mind his talks.'' this will show him how it feels to speak ill of someone. and yes, if he blackmails you emotionally, please do not give in.

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7y trước

thnxs fr ur concern dear

I think you waited too long to express your disgust with his behaviour towards your parents. I mean for three years you allowed him to make fun of your parents and ill treating him. You should have reissued your voice against it at the very onset. You should not have tolerated his bad behaviour towards your parents from the beginning. Anyway, better late than never. Tell him straightaway that his attitude towards your parents drives you mad and you will not tolerate it anymore. Either he starts behaving well with them or sear all ties with them.

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8y trước

dear few days back I got to know dat he disrespect my parents not only infornt of me bt others also..

Talk to him and ask him why does he behave that way with your parents. If you will pass off his behaviour or will ignore it to make peace at home, he will take it as a causal thing and will continue with his behaviour. He will always behave disrespectfully with them. I think you should discuss his behaviour and tell him how bad you feel about it.

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Same here, 6 years of marriage but here's scene is directly saying some hurting words. Feeling so helpless and hurted. Upset with my life. Going back is impossible and facing new day is like disaster which is making me Mentally sick.

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Defend your parents. In privacy, tell your husband you don't approve of his behaviour. How would he feel if you made fun of his parents? But you won't do that since you're a decent person.

U should share with your in laws if they are good with you else try the same 4 his parents coz he will not understand the pain he giving u and ur family. until he feel the same.