My hubby is an extremely MCP, loves face very much and a tyrant but i thought he would change after I had a baby. Yet nothing changed after we got married and worst instead, he became more & more aggressive towards my baby & me too.
All real happening scenarios:
1) He roared damn loudly several times at home at my baby (now a toddler) who was noisy in the middle of wee hours (2am) and my neighbours all opened windows to see what happened. He also kicked very hard on the toddler’s play gate until it dented and threw things in front of my girl when she’s only 1 year old. Even till now & then, in fact he just did that again once yesterday only. My girl is very fearful of him whenever he roars now.
2) Back then, my 2yo kid is crying & getting fussy as any other kids that one fine day in the car. He was driving 100km initially but suddenly he accelerated to 120km then purposely stepped an e-brake in the middle of expressway, both my kid & I weren’t on seat belt so we fell forward abruptly due to the sudden e-brake, he said did this on purpose to make my girl stopped crying and even roared at us loudly like a madman in the car, then my girl felt so fearful and started to cry after that because of his loud roaring voice.
3) he 100% expected and required me to cook regularly, clean the house neatly and maintain the home a super tidy place. But I told him after taking care of our highly active girl daily, I really have no time & any energy left (depletes every bit) to do much, not even rest or sleep as well. Every night I can’t sleep coz kid wakes up so frequently somemore. I told him that with a kid sure they house will be messy but he insisted the house must be clean at all times which I told him it’s quite impossible. He just can’t stand the toys all around the place.
4) he also told me to stop giving my mum any allowance since I am not working anymore but I think it’s not filially right coz my mum has been taking care of my child whenever she & I are out. And because I have a child I have already gave up working to take care of our child now. This is how he repays my mum for everything she has done for my current family.
5) I explained a lot of things to his sister but to my surprise she didn’t side with reasons but instead sided her brother based on kinship. So she told me to give in to her brother. And even told me to go out & work to help him financially. But when she, my mil & hubby wants me to get pregnant previously, all told me don’t work at all, better stay at home & conceive. Now they already used me to bear them a kid, financially my hubby can’t sustain anymore, now she expected me to go out to work part-time & also take care of my girl at the same time.
6) hubby is acting very weird during these 3 years. For example, he asked me if the car in front is smaller or his car is smaller? I replied him saying the car in front was smaller than ours but don’t know what happened he got super angry immediately and started to quarrel badly. He said that means his car (ours) is not big that’s why I commented the car in front is smaller lah?! Something is wrong with him really.
7) I had my last birthday celebration 3 years ago with my maternal side. That day my bro who loves to joke as usual asked my hubby casually why he never buys me a birthday gift? Suddenly my hubby stood us and got angry. He told me my bro was mocking at him for being unable to get me a present. I told him straight that my bro was only joking. And also told my bro minutes later beside me as well. But my hubby insisted my bro was actually looking down on him. Then ended up quarreling over the meal and all got very upset.
8) 3 years ago - Hubby was having a 2-weeks reservist, so I asked my mum to come over my place to help me take care of my newborn back then. When he got home finally on the last day of his reservist, his black turned black instantly when my mum was carrying our newborn baby and she was so considerate knowing he must be very tired & dirty coming back from camp, so she advised him to go take a shower first. Somehow he got super angry right away and asked me to go into the bedroom. He told me my mum really don’t know how to behave (buay zi dong) because he thinks my mum should let him carry the baby once she saw him back at the door. I told him then if he wants to carry our newborn he can just tell her directly and I am sure my mum will definitely let him carry at all means. But he said my mum should know it by right even he didn’t say anything. I think he’s very unreasonable.
9) hubby stopped people (relatives) and me for buying toys & apparels. He kept saying the house has got of toys and clothes already, very messy and he hated this kind gesture to whomever is gifting or buying them (including me & my mum too). Many times he will secretly tidy the house & threw our things away without asking for my permission.
I am extremely upset and want to cry but I have no one to help me or do anything about my situation. Pls tell me what should I do with such a bad hubby? Now he often threatens me with a divorce, I fully regret marrying such a spouse really but I don’t know what to do coz we have a child now. I heard if we divorce the child’s custody will be his. Thanks to reply ASAP.
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