17 Replies
unless u don't communicate openly you won't be able to help yourself. she feels shes doing her bit of being a good wife who ensures all chores are done and kids are fed and their education is looked into. shes used to this routine and if this routine is disturbed it will add to further woes from her towards you as u would have walked into her domain so to speak. it could also be that there's a trending in amongst her friends as to who is a good mother...and due to this unsaid competition, shes trying her level best to ensure that the kids get the best clothes, best food in Tiffin's, best pot luck dinners, best kids in dancing, singing, sports, projects, homework etc. if this is so then she may not be getting enough appreciation at home. hence random acts of appreciation will help like just getting flowers for her without any occasion or a message of love on her phone or some place where u know she will see, giving her a day at the spa or as others have suggested to take her on a date etc...there are many things u can do instd of feeling lonely. shes bound to notice it ask u. use that opportunity to reason with her and come up with a time slot for the both of u...train ur kids to make small gifts like card etc.to thank her.
I guess, this happens with most of the women. And you never know, she, too, is finding herself lonely and to fill up that loneliness, she spends as much time with the kids and doing their chores. You should initiate by getting her flowers, giving her a hug or a peck on her cheeks if you are not doing it. You can call someone to babysit the kids and take her on a surprise dinner date. In doing all this, do not forget to have one family outing where kids are there, as women start feeling guilty of having a good time without the kids. Balance is the key here. You can take a day off once in while and when kids are in school, you both can cook together, spend quality time talking, giggling, sharing jokes etc. You can plan movie dates. You can book a spa session for her. Call her from office when she is not expecting, get things that she is fond of. Women like attention, so give her that. Basically, begin with pampering her. And if she has got so much involved in everything else but you, she would understand that you too want her.
Speak to her about it. Given our education system, it is natural for her to be worried and become very involved in your children's education. How about planning a family vacation? I'm sure your children could use a break too! Also, help her out around the house and with the children so that she will be less tired. This way, both of you will have some energy to help bring back the spark in your relationship. Cheer up! Get someone to help look after the children and go on a date! ;)
u got to talk to her on how you feel. my husband feels that i dont communicate with him anymore. I then told him how tired i am and ask him to monitor the kids while i take over his role of resting instead. after that , he admit to me that its really tiring to monitor the kids. well , i tried to give him more attention by spending my late night at the living room watching shows with him and sleeping tgt. lol .
It is actually a blessing that your wife is actively involved in your kids life as it shows she's a loving & dutiful mother. However, I understand the loneliness you might feel when being not involve in their life. Do take the initiative to get involved in their activities. I'm sure your wife & kids will be most delighted to have you around & it will definitely bring the bond between the family closer
Get involved together, show her, you also care about their life and studies, so you all have common topic to talk about. Once start to communicate, slowly can communicate other things too. Go out for dinner more, while kids enjoying their dinner, you can communicate more with ur wife on other things too.
Wait for her term break, enlist the help of parents or in laws to watch the kids for a weekend and take her away on a romantic getaway! I'm sure it is much needed, well deserved and a great way to just be in love without all the realities, even if it is just for the weekend :)
This happens to all women I would say but I guess there should be a proper balance... though it's easier said than done! I don't think you should feel bad...y not try giving your moral support to your wife and bring her out for a good meal, surprise her with lil gifts etc(:
It is somewhat normal because mothers tend to oversee almost everything. It would be wise to have an open communication with her, find the right timing and think of ways you both can rekindle the partial lost of romance. Go on a date, have a trip it can help. :)
You could also try to get involved, that way she'd spend less time. You pick the subjects you're good at and help with those. It can get really overwhelming for mothers if we have to do everything. Having a spouse get involved even improves bonding.