7 Replies
Fellow mom admin here! I think a lot of people misunderstand what gentle parenting actually is It’s not “letting kids do whatever they want.” Real gentle parenting still has boundaries, consequences, and discipline... just without fear, screaming, or hitting. The problem is some parents become too permissive in the name of being gentle, and that’s where kids end up with poor boundaries or emotional regulation. Kids still need structure, consistency, and to hear “no” sometimes. Honestly, the most effective parenting style is probably somewhere in the middle: emotionally safe, respectful, but still firm and consistent. A child can be validated emotionally AND still be corrected for bad behaviour at the same time.
I personally feel that “gentle parenting” gets misunderstood a lot. It’s not about letting the kids do whatever they want or have 0 boundaries. The key factors I feel is “communication” and “explaining”. They not listening? Duhh.. but we just got to maintain composure, and keep being consistent with what we preach. Sometimes having no reaction to their tantrums and wilfulness makes them afraid of us more than actually shouting at them. Good luck to us!😆
I think it's not a one size fit all method. Some kids respond well to it, and some dont. I think most will need a mixture of different parenting methods for different situations. For eg, if my kid hits another kid on purpose, or does something very dangerous, I definitely am not going to gentle parent, sure scold one. But if its things like not wanting to share toys or food with others or not wanting to eat their meals, still can try the more gentle approach.
I think gentle parenting is still effective... as long as it doesn’t become too “give in to the child”. Gentle parenting doesn’t mean no boundaries. Rules are still there, just communicated in a calmer and more understanding way. Kids can feel upset or angry, but they still need to know the limits. So as long as we stay firm (not harsh, but consistent), children can still learn discipline without being raised in a strict or harsh way.
I think we need to be doing a good mix of both gentle parenting and authoritarian parenting. A lot of what we do also depends on your kids personality. Personally my parents used a lot of corporal punishment when I was growing up. This was terrible for me as my Love language is touch. So hitting me was a violation of what was important way for me to feel love.
you can do gentle parenting and set some boundaries at the same time just that it requires alot of time and high patients towards our own kids..
Gentle parenting is all about patience and active listening to your child's needs, but also about setting firm boundaries.