Feeling frustrated

Ftm here. Due in Jun. I have already paid deposit for a confinement many with an agency and in the process of hiring a helper. Both husb and me are working full time and our parents are sickly. So we have no help at all. Been reading reviews on nanny and helper and now thinking if I should just risk it and DIY instead of taking the risk that I might have 2 more trouble instead. My husband is the lazy, unhygienic type. He can't even wash anything properly. Caught him not using any detergent when washing utensils. He just rinse his cup with water. My nepresso milk frother had stains after he claimed he had washed it. I am not confident of the helper although interviewed her twice. She has a child but her child was brought up by her mum as she went to another state to work one month after giving birth. Lastly I feel that the house is so small already.. 90sqm. It is starting to get so cluttered with all the baby stuff. How can we accommodate 3 more pax...

Vô danh

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FTM here too, similar situation as yours but due in Aug. just as others advise, better to not risk it and DIY. We are in the midst of hiring helper as well, hoping for helper to arrive may-june to get used to the chores and our style before baby and confinement nanny comes. Both husband and I really too tired to do housework well everyday, so we know we need the helper to take care of chores and baby in the long run. Confinement nanny is definitely helpful to teach parents and helper how to take care of baby as well, I'd say go for both even though it may feel overwhelming now and crowded at home. As other mummies say, your rest and recovery is most impt postpartum 💪

I think a confinement nanny is a must in your case. Baby drinks every 2h if you breastfeed (3h at most if you bottle feed). Not forgetting in the first months, baby poops after every meal, so that's like a cycle - feed, change diaper, put baby to sleep, and repeat. No time for you to get proper rest that you need postpartum (please prioritize your recovery so that you can look after everything in future). If you don't have enough rests/sleep, you cannot do any other things (like household chores) too...... I agree with another mommy, to try interview another helper.

Gena Wong

First time mom!

8mo trước

Chores that nanny helps with: washing clothes, washing bottles and pump parts, cooking nutritious meal for your postpartum recovery, bathe baby, help with baby needs apart from breastfeeding at night. (If you go through agency, I think there is policy to ask for replacement should you face trouble with your nanny, so don't be afraid to feedback to your agency if need to). Helper: don't think we can expect them to look after newborn baby + housework, it will be too much. So purely housework, and maybe learn a few techniques from nanny on baby care so that she can help you out after confinement.

I agree with interviewing another helper. I thnk what make or break here is not about getting a helper. It’s about getting a good help. A bad help will just add on to stress. I got my helper early too, 3 months before my EDD so she knows how to “run” the house etc. Bear in mind also, when nanny comes, helper can help nanny to orientate the house. And helper can learn from nanny on how to take care of baby. So most important is not just her past working experience, it is her attitude, communication skill, cleanliness and willingness to learn

I would say trust Ur instincts and don't settle with the helper. there are many around in the market, so take the chance to interview more and find now that baby is not here yet. I switched helper when baby was 3mo and it was sooooo tiring, but the new helper was so much better. initially I was also uncomfortable with the idea of a stranger at home but my new helper feels like a younger sis to me so all's good now

Are you planning to latch? Or pump and feed/top up with FM. It’s hard to predict if you’ll have enough milk.. I had both nanny and helper and my house wasn’t so big either. Was v helpful though, baby woke up every 1.5 hours..

The first month can be tough for FT parents, especially the night feedings. You might want to have help if your husband is unreliable. Possible to interview another helper?

2 more comments

Vô danh

8mo trước

Yes. Agree to the above detailed explanation. BF is very taxing too. Your may wanna consider pumping, so someone can bottle feed your baby while you rest.

Home Pregnancy ftm due in jun i have already paid deposit confinement many with agency i