Ever since my nephew was born last July, my in-laws who took care of him almost 24/7 adores him. This was not an issue to me since my in-laws used to spoil my boy & I'd rather not have that continue. However after a while, my boy (who used to be care for by my mil for almost 2yrs) resisted visiting their house. When we asked him, he said that the grandparents only speak to him when the bb is sleeping or not around. Few weeks back when we last visited, my mil even called both my boy n girls by name of the nephew. Now when my in-laws called, my boy doesn't even want to talk to them at all. Worst is my in-laws only like boys. So when my girls went, the elder gal (#2) who insisted on tagging along when my fil brought my boy out, always get scolded regardless if it's her fault. Even at their house, when my boy snatched toy from my gal, my in-laws will scold my gal n asked her to give up to my boy regardless of the fact that my gal was playing with the toy 1st or that toy was hers. Of course when they want to play with my nephew's toy (even if he's not around), my in-laws said can't. Seriously I don't really want to visit and neither do my kids. But they called weekly to ask and questioned why we don't go (as if we instigated the kids not to). Nonetheless they are still grandparents and we need to visit once in a blue moon or meet for meals(which is another potential disaster as the nephew is around and the in-laws simply just ignore all my kids who tried very hard to talk to them or get their attention), wonder anyone has any similar issue and good ways to resolve? Note that in-laws r those who think they r always right so it's a challenge to talk to them. Tried before and they just find excuses.

Seems you are thinking about all this way too much. I guess, you let the kids be, and do not get too much into the situation as who is your FIL and MIL giving more attention to. If you have to visit your in-laws house once in while and not daily, then it is more of a reason to not let yourself stress out so much. You can talk to your husband if it is bothering your mental peace. See, what he says. But I think it is a trivial issue (because you are not living with them) and you should just not let this thing affect your peace. You can make all the children play together by coming up with some game and divert their attention and yours too from how MIL and FIL are behaving. Thank your stars that you don't have to live with them, and be happy in the present situation thinking how things could have been if you had been in a joint family.

If I were you, I will bring them over once in a while (maybe once a month), just so that the children get to see their grandparents. Your in-law's non-responsiveness and bias behaviour to your children seemed to be affecting them.. so I would also explain to them that your in-laws are paying more attention to the baby because he is younger and needed more attention. Can tell that your children love their grandparents which also show that your in-laws probably doted on them. I would say keep the relationships cordial and hopefully, things will improve when your nephew grows older. In the meantime, just explain to your children not to take it to heart in case they feel neglected. And bring along their own toys when they go over for a visit. Take care!!!

Seems a very serious problem. U cannot discuss with them as it won't go well. Hence the only one who can talk is ur husband. He has to literally sit them down and talk about it all. Esp he needs to tell them tht their behavior is disturbing the kids and they may completely lose the love that they hav for grandparents. This discussion needs to define some ultimatum. And whatever is decided upon you and your husband should abide by it till a better solution is presented. For kids to slowly get over this feeling of alienation try to make them express their feelings over drawing them. Ask them to draw how they feel about going to grandparents home. It will help u guage their true feelings.

If I were you, I'd just go visit the in-laws during the "compulsory" and necessary days like once a week and the holidays etc. For those few hours, if they are horrible to me, I'll take it as best as I can but if they are mean to my kids, I'll tell my husband to talk to his parents. My mom went through the same experience with my paternal side of the family because she is a working mom who brought us up to be moderate instead of religious. Whenever they made snide comments about her or any of us kids, she just smiled it off and told us to do well in our education and lives to prove them wrong. Hang in there mommy!

sadly a lot of families in India believe that a boy always has more rights than the girl, even if it is something as simple as playing with a toy. i understand you explained this and spoke about it earlier, but maybe now you will have to be firm and stand up for your daughter. this is not the kind of behaviour she should be subject to, and you being her mother should not let this happen. talk to your husband about it and speak to your in-laws too. if they don't understand, let your kids not speak to them since they as it is don't want to. if they ask, tell them honestly the issues that they created are causing this problem.

Tough situation. Things with in laws are always tough.... but look on e bright side! As you said, they no longer spoil your boy... so that's something to be happy about! I'm sure as a parent you feel sad for your children when they are not as favoured anymore .... for this need your hubby to tell ur in laws ur children feel sad because they don't have their attention as much anymore hence they don't really want to go visit them. If they listen and change, great. If not, then they will know the reason why you guys don't visit as much anymore.

You should talk to your husband about this, and no matter what people say or not, do not take your children to their home. See, what I believe is, if something is taking away the mental peace of the family as a whole, why to do that just to please others or avoid questions. And if I were you, I would have frankly told after the repetitive incidents that my kids do not like to come over because of your behaviour with them. I think you too should do the same or just stay put at your place and be happy.

My parents are the same way when there is a new baby in the family. They are more comfortable with baby because she's not talking😅😅. It seems to me that they cannot relate with an elder child. I always make conversation first and ask both grandparents and grandchildren questions so they can talk with each other while I entertain the baby. At least the elder kids can have some memorable moments with grandparents when they visit.

Listen, I read through the entire thing and there is only one thing I will say - what they are doing is not right and you have to stand up to your kids. often we end up wondering what is polite and what is right in the way we deal with our elders, especially in-laws, but if they, being the elders do not know how to behave with kids, then it is important that someone points it out to them

this is very wrong behaviour towards any kid. since they have already asked you what is wrong and why the kids don't want to visit anymore, tell them honestly what they feel. also, speak to your husband and tell him to talk to his parents. as a father, i am sure he will understand that this behaviour towards his children is not acceptable.