Dealing with mother in law and husband not being understanding

Dear mummies, feeling so down with my husband and mother in law. Does anyone else have a monster in law like me too? I’m 3 months postpartum. Being a mother and being pregnant has been a long time desire of mine. Unfortunately it was not a smooth sailing journey for me apart from the typical pregnancy sickness and tiredness. My husband is always prioritising other things apart from my child or me. He claims he loves us but he has always been busy with his games every single night. He doesn’t spend time with me or speaks to me. I’m a stay at home mom because I have to tc our child while my husband tc of the expenses. I have to sacrifice my career so I can tc of our child but my husband always criticise me for staying at home doing nothing and always fighting with me when he he goes to work and provides for us. My husband wasn’t the nicest person to me while I was pregnant. My husband was emotionally and physically abusive while I was pregnant and my mother in law was the cause of it. She was always creating problems for us. She even encouraged my husband to divorce me even though she knew I was pregnant. She used all kind of words on me while I was pregnant telling me to die and my husband did not even question her on why she spoke in such manner. I have even told my husband multiple times that I want a divorce because I couldn’t handle the stress but he refuses to give me a divorce because he claims he does not want his child to go through what he went through as a kid bcos his parents are divorced. Prob is his mum, she left him at a young age and came back to his life like nothing and my husband is being hugely influenced by her. She has never been a good model to my husband. My husband and I always have conflicts bcos of my mother in law. She always says things that upset me and when I talk about it to my husband, he immediately calls her and ask without knowing how to handle the situation well and she brainwashed him into thinking I’m the problem. She has tried so many ways to make my husband leave me even before we got married. But my husband doesn’t want to leave me till now. Now when my child is born, she is trying to act like a good person. She is sharing my child’s photos to everyone without my permission. And ppl whom I have never met in life are uploading my child’s pictures on their social media. She is always telling us to wear the clothes she buys for my child and take picture and send her. The best part of it all is none of it is from her pocket. She is using her second husband’s money while she is unemployed and brags about spending money on my child like I didn’t ask for it. She has the tendency to brag a lot. My husband doesn’t even question her for her wrong doings. Moreover he is alwyas glued to his phone and games. Even when we head out once in awhile, he will still be glued to his phone instead of spending time with me. I really wish I had never met him and go through so much in my life. What I shared is just 10 percent of what I’m going through. I really do not know what to do being stuck in a hopeless situation.

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It wouldn't be easy if you file a divorce on him. Cos moreover, it's gonna be a lengthy process. I'm in one right now and i totally hate it. He filed it on me. But i am sure she is behind it all. Whatever it is, try talking to your birth mother first. Or else, stay over at her place for a few days, with your child.

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you can start the divorce proceedings without his consent.

1y ago

no it wouldn’t. you must cite unreasonable behaviour towards child. best if you can seek PPO before divorce. usually custody goes to mother but do seek legal advice for your situation (bcos i may not know fully). there are possible ways about your MIL BUT your husband might fight it. really do seek legal advice on this!