First, I don't know if ur husband is like that when baby is not here yet. If so then I think it is totally normal for him to still be like that. How did u use to communicate w him? If communication was really bad then why did u marry him?
U cannot expect things like marriage or baby to change him because it is not a magic spell.
Husbands are thick in the head sometimes and even if he ask for ur opinion he has all the right to decide what to do and even if he doesn't want to follow I don't think u should fault him.
If ur husband helps u, u are blessed and fortunate. If he doesn't, it's normal.
U also don't know if the Zheng Gu jiu is harmful anot and men being men they don't think too much at times and just use it.
It is not harmful but most have eucalyptus content - the "hot/spicy" feel. If too high concentration it can be teary to baby's eye
I don't think u should end it. Talk to ur family or friends or get counseling
Opting out on the marriage now is definitely a wrong choice (unless there is abuse). It will be difficult and hurtful for the rest of ur life and ur baby's life. It looks like a short cut to end it all but it will just be another torturous journey
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