4 Replies
Hi, I so understand this situation as a very close relative of mine went through a same phase in life and since, I was so close to them, I too, was disturbed because of the discord husband and wife were going through. But, you know the best part in that couple that saved their marriage and brought back their happiness was the woman's positive attitude towards life. No doubt, she had her days of feeling low and she would cry on the phone talking to me, but overall she maintained the stance that all will become fine, and finally all did become fine. So, you keep your calm. Bad times do not stay forever. Things going to be fine with you all as well, and it is just a matter of time. Put yourself in your husband position and try to feel the pressure that a man has in this patriarchal society where if man is not earning he is supposed to make feel good for nothing. So, he must be going through a whole lot o stress right now which even if want to forget for a while he would not be able to. I think, be by his side during this testing time. The things that you can do right from your side to make him feel good about himself, do those. And when he would know that there is someone who understands him so well and is supporting him in his every step, he would himself shower that love which is missing in your life. In this time of trial, I think your husband himself would be longing for love, just that he doesn't know to express it because there is so much of pressure on him. I suggest, give both of yourselves time and things will change for good.
Firstly, I would like to applaud for you, because after reading all above, I happen to find out that you are quite a romantic at heart. Generally, what I have seen is that women are the ones who become loveless in a marriage if there are financial crises going on and are the ones who get more panicked and stressed. So, yes, kudos to you for keeping the love alive in your heart. But, I think you should let your love become infectious. If your husband is stressed and tensed then you at your end do little things to make life happy. And as you know happiness doesn't require money. Like, instead of the regular meal, prepare something that your husband likes, may be a dish of his mother's that he likes the most. Or, if he is not able to make up his mind for a movie, have a picnic of sorts on your terrace. Drag him for a walk to the park. Sit on a bench there and discuss things that bothers him and let him know that no matter what you are there with him. Spread positivity that you have in abundance. Tell him, all is going to be fine. Let conversations flow easily. Have regular talks with him. Motivate him and your love life itself will come on track. It is a circle. If one thing becomes right all others start falling in place.
i understand your concern and your situation, and it is really nice the way you are supportive and have been understanding of his struggles. why don't you also try to look for a job that will help you add to the family income? if you are the primary caregiver of your child, you can also try for some work from home options that will allow you to use some hours in the day for work and also generate some money. even if you do not go for it, i would suggest you sit down and talk to your hubby about regular things. help him get comfortable and make him relaxed. then tell him that you love him and are with him in all his phases. and that you want to be with him always. tell him too that there are certain needs that you have and that you want to fulfill with him. talk about it.
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