4 Replies
I am sorry but I have to confess this that I felt really glad to see your query. I am also a mother of a five-year-old girl and I have experienced that till last year she was a coy, no-fuss baby, and she has suddenly turned naughty. Not only this, she at 5 answers back. And in my case, I feel that she answers back because when she was younger I used to tease her and when she would scream at me, I used to love those little expressions she made and things she used to say being angry. That time I found that cute but now when she is growing up I find the same behaviour unacceptable. But I am sure, you must not have been this mean to her, so I suggest ignore her when she answers back if things turn bad, but otherwise let her calm down and sweetly tell her how bad you feel and how she hurt your heart by being rude to you. This is what I have started doing. I let things cool down and later I tell her that mumma feels very sad in her heart when you talk badly. I do role play, and scream the way she had done, and then she feels embarrassed and promises me never to repeat it. Ofcourse, she repeats it, but this is a practice which I think if we continue her behaviour will soon change. Try it with your daughter. https://www.positivediscipline.com/articles/45-year-old-who-talks-back
oops, this is quite common actually, and trust me, all will be well if you take care now :) sometimes, at this age, kids start finding their independence and are more aware of their likes and dislikes. so, if you tell her to do something that she does not like, she will end up saying no straightaway. her intention will not be to back-answer you, but more to assert her will. one thing we need to take care of as parents is that we should stop using negative words with kids, and in general, a common word being 'no.' when you say 'no' to your child for so many things, she too will pick up the same and give it back to you. start by rephrasing your sentences and don't nag her. let her explore her independence, but tell her that if she has a problem with something, she needs to speak to you politely, and not rudely. very soon she will understand :)
Generally this age kids will try to do a lot of objectionable things to get attention towards them. Each time she back answers, your reaction to it is what she looks for. Each time u react strongly, she feels like she has won a battle as this is the only thing she has control over. Don't react to her. But don't encourage it too. Try to repeat whatever she said in the same tone. Watch her reaction. Read or create stories where the same scenario is shown where moral of the story turns out positive.
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