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Birthclub: September 2024

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Postpartum depression or overwhelmed?

I'm struggling with postpartum feelings, and my friends and mom said I might be experiencing postpartum depression. I often feel agitated with my husband's behavior and my mother-in-law. Living with my mom, I feel she and my siblings handle the baby with more care. When I visit my mother-in-law's house, it's very loud, and they often carry my baby around, which sometimes startles her. They take her into a room, claiming it's cooler there with the air conditioning, but it feels too much to me “kidnapping” my child away and when my baby cry they didn’t pass my baby to me instead trying to soothe her. I’ve expressed my discomfort to my husband, but he insists it's okay since they only see our baby once a week. He thinks I'm being unfair because my family has more time with her. At home, they treat the baby like a toy, passing her around like it’s nothing. I often dread going there and worry about how our baby is being handled. Since my postpartum period began over a month ago, I feel like my husband hasn’t been very supportive. He spends a lot of time playing games and only changes diapers when I ask him to, and even then, he sometimes delays. He’s seen me struggling with back pain and me complaining how it hurts but has criticized me for not using a binder, which adds to my frustration. Whenever I express to him that I’m tired and he’s not helping, he said “are you complaining? If you’re tired I can takecare of baby” Additionally, he often makes our baby cry, and instead of comforting her, he tells her to "use her words" instead of crying. My sister-in-law does the same. It’s frustrating to hear that when our baby is just a newborn and cannot communicate that way. When she cries, they playfully scold her rather than trying to soothe her right away. Sometimes I feel like telling him to leave me and my baby. I can survive being a single mother. Is this what postpartum depression are like, or am I just overreacting to everything?

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