23 Replies
Sorry I may sound harsh but this is genuinely what me and my husband felt. Best not to discuss bills with parents unless either side of parents are paying any money to support both of you. If not best to keep this topic between both of you only. Because parents will always want the best for their own child. Your mum in this case want the best for you. However this topic may hurt your relationship with your hubby. Either be Frank and open to discuss this topic with your hubby or go on with your own comfort level. If you feel comfortable going half half with your husband why bother with your mother's comment. The baby belongs to both of you not your mother.
Husband and wife should help each other also don't care about others, for me I don't listen to anyone even with my Mom or my MIL coz me n my husband we keep it very personally only between us. I use to work before I get pregnant so I still can use some of my medisave or my saving to pay my bills like vaccination flu or blood test etc, and my husband will only paying the medical bill and he will use his medisave for my pregnancy delivery only. Coz I don't feel good if he paying everything for me coz he paying for other important things also. So do what you're comfortable with alrite :)
Don't get influenced by what others say and do what u and ur spouse agreed upon. My mom said the same thing but I guess it's normal in their generation for such patriarchal thinking. For me, my husband offered to pay for everything but I don't feel gd abt it cz I'm very well earning myself and has the means to contribute so why not right. And my hubby alr is paying for other impt house bills and purchases. So we decided to split 50-50 for hospital bill and baby's insurance premiums. It's a personal choice. Do what ure comfortable with.
You are a married couple; anything that concerns your family should be discussed by yourself and your husband. Not even parents or in-laws should dictate you on these kinds of matter. If your hubby can well provide for all the pregnancy and delivery expenses, then why not. But if he handles everything and causes too much financial burden on him, isn’t it just right that you as the wife lighten it that up even just a bit? Give and take... 😉
I think it depends on how the both of you function as a team. For me, I’ll like to handle the bills since i can reimburse back from my company. He helped and paid a lot more of other stuff in our daily life already. I think i can share his burden as a wife... though he does not mind paying too... so it boils down to how u two function n not so much on other’s opinions on how the finance should be divided, since all households are different
I think in the past, husband tend to be the breadwinner and thus husband paid everything. Nowadays most husband and wife are working thus splitting bill seems a fairer share to ease burden and also it helps to improve relationship. Ultimately its up to you and your husband to decide. Weigh the pros and cons. Sometimes our parent's advice is just a suggestion and mostly come from their own experience in the past. all the best!
which ever makes u and ur husband feel better. my mum also insists tt my hub covers all fees and after checking with my husband's intentions, he prefers to handle the big costs (e.g. delivery, medical related) while i handle the smaller ones (e.g. infant shopping, confinement, massage, equipment). do what's best for both of u. ur parents will be ok as long as u are happy, with or without u paying.
My husband pays for my gynae visits so far. I too dun feel good when people pay for me. And because i have diabetes, i refused to let him pay for the visit. Its like i feel its my problem. I earn way much lesser but i still feel some stuff we shld split. People may say we r stupid but i dun care. 😂
Actually anyone's comment is not important, just opt for the option comfortable for both of u. During pregnancy u need to stay less stress and relax, still got a long way to go. Don't make an issue an issue just by listening to what others got to say, because it is never ending.
You are equally yoked in a marriage. Would you not take care of him if he fall seriously ill? Be a team, and discuss it, since you are both needed to bring up a child... (You are in your own family, it is not something that your mother should interfere...)