29 Replies
I think the problem here is financial issues. As always I advise my friend to live on the lowest income and share expenses equally. Money issue is one of reasons that lead to divorce because parties have different expectation of each other. Marriage is an equal partnership. Each party stands in the same spouse-relationship.The starting point should be sharing the financial burden equally. One party burden should not be decreased just because the other party is wealthier, and one party burden should not be increased just because the other party is less well off. This is certainly not an inflexible rule but just a general principal. I don't agree with money earn belongs to the whole household because that feel like a communist idea. Why would a richer party married a poorer party? Who will work harder? I feel the approach should be both contribute equally to the marriage, both taking part in care giving and financial contribution to maintain the union. Certainly either party can be generous to the other when he or she at his or her own willing, but it cannot be taken as an entitlement. At the end we didn't married each other for money right?
Actually I think your income is your own money and your husband's his.. though there is a portion of husband's salary which can be reasonably expected for running the household. My husband never expects me to buy anything for the house or baby as he believes it's his responsibility to provide for his family. But as I am working, I take the initiative to buy some of the things that we need as I believe in a dual income family I should help out where I can. Just don't expect too much from our husbands.. we know how much they earn so if we want something more expensive than he can afford alone then share the cost.. and just keep each other's welfare in mind
Dahil only child ang hubby ko at di maxado malaki sweldo nya, hinahayaan ko na lang syang magbudget ng sweldo nya. He can give naman kahit magkano gusto nya sa parents nya. Never akong naki.alam. Thank God, wala naman syang bisyo kaya I'm fine with that kesa kung san nya ewaldas. I don't want to add more burden sa kanya bcoz I'm aware sa stress nya sa work. Mas malaki kasi kinikita ko kaya mostly sakin ang gastos which I'm not complaining naman kasi thats what marriage is all about. Understanding each others weakness and becoming each other's strength. 🥰
I do not think practically that is possible and if it is then I do think there be one additional issue of disconnect between husband and wife. If both the partners are working, there is no room for my money is mine. If husband starts doing the same then there will be such a hue and cry over it and many of feminists will stand for women's rights and all. So, be it in a marriage or otherwise, if two people are living together they are bound to share everything.
I will always say this as a joke to my husband but definitely do not practise it this way. My husband will give me all his salary for safekeeping (he is paid cash). We will sort out the amount that we should save, to pay for bills and for daily usage. We will use the daily usage together and if i want to get something that is not counted as daily usage i.e. new clothes, I will ask for permission out of respect before buying anything.
In our case, we're both working. I let my wife handle all of our finances, that includes budgeting, bills payment, etc. as in all. Because she manages money better than I do. If I'll take control of our money, I might buy anything impulsively. With her managing everything, guess what, the three of us have insurances, savings, investments and few properties. As they say: "If mama's happy then everyone's happy" :)
Well since my wife earns more than me and has more than me. I alway say my money is your money and your money is my money right? Lol Honestly in your situation, you have to work it out with your husband. It’s a matter of trust. In my case I earn less but I take care of most of the household spendings and shopping. Cos I can handle numbers. She can’t. 🤷♂️
I think it's unfair for a wife to think that way, even if her husband is okay with it. Yes, you can have your own share of the money but you cannot expect your husband to be the only one surrendering his share to the common pool. To me it's either "our" money or totally separate accounts. This whole my money is mine and yours is ours concept baffles me.
Both my husband and I are working, but whatever income we have, we treat it as "ours". From our combined salary, we deduct savings, bills and personal allowances. The personal allowance is the one that we can use without the permission of the spouse. So if I want to buy a new bag, I have to save for it from my personal allowance.
When I married my wife, I vowed to love, cherish and protect her for all my life, And from that day onward, we are no longer two but one flesh. I am she and she is me, thus what I have will be hers. For her to be my wife despite all my flaws and imperfection, I gladly surrender all my belongings and my monies too.