Feeling stressed and tired just want to rant
Why are men so useless? And why everyone just finds it... NORMAL? I WORK from home with two kids, 3yo attends childcare (but gets sick that lasts for 3 weeks and attend 4 days school kind). And though I have a helper to assist me with cleaning and the clothes and food preparation, I still find it so so difficult to cope. There are so many deadlines to meet, meals to cook, children to entertain and take care of and not forgetting money to earn, bills to pay and tons of lists going on in my head like what to buy, who ran out of diapers, what to cook for lunch/dinner etc. And my husband works from evening till night on weekdays and full days on weekends, so that means night routines are always handled by me. During day time he is cooped up in his room, doing "work". Sometimes it's true he is working, most times he is just playing game and scrolling mothership news. Telling me things like oh these are intellectual stuff. Just today my youngest fell off the bed head down at my husband's watch. And what was he doing? Playing phone game. How I know? The game was running on the screen right next to him. How many times he fell head down? Third time already. Seriously.. How to work from home like this?? And I have colleagues (not married) who kept telling me oh how nice it is to work from home etc. But they dont know what lies behind the scenes. I am so so tired. Morning I have to prep the kid, the breakfast, entertain them, do some work (if they let me - usually lasts for 30mins) and then i have to food prep, cook lunch for the family, entertain the kids again, put the kids to nap, and then food prep for dinner and before you know it, one kid decides to not nap, the other decides to wake up from his nap. By the time my kids falls deep asleep (around 10plus), I am only left with the night time to get any work done, sometimes doing till 4-5am. My line of work involves creativity, and at this point my creativity is at sub zero. Honestly, what is the point of having a husband? What is his role? He isnt here because he has to work I understand, but what about the time and days he is here? His heart is not even here. His excuse for playing game is because he needs to relax. Then I no need to relax? May as well I raise the kids alone. And what tops this whole cake is my mother in law's constant nagging and dismissal of her daughter in laws. She is always saying how "the mother" (aka me or my sis in law) is such a bad mom, bitch about us behind our backs (i heard mine over cctv and she bitches about my SIL in front of me), and basically just whatever we do is wrong in her eyes. If my mom comes over, or left any remnants of her being at my place, she will go crazy and start to do all sorts of funny things like throwing away my mum's stuff, telling my helper that my children's surname is the paternal side not maternal so everything must listen to her. Basically just an extremely toxic person to be with. And she is always praising her sons, putting me down, bitch about how dirty my mum place is, saying shit about me and our place... My husband isnt any better.. Always saying why i cook so late a lunch or putting them down for nap (and he is at home... why isnt he doing it?!). JUST SO BLOOOODY TIRED!!!