We have some financial issue this month. My husband want to lend some money to his parents but i don't think that's a good idea. I prefer we sell some stuff to cover our financial rather than lending money. How can i say this to him without hurting him?
Managing finance could be frustrating in marriage if you are not on the same page with your partner. There are times that one might make a decision without considering the other person's feeling into account--and this can happen unintentionally. It would be better if you first sit down and discuss the matter with your partner. Let him hear your suggestion and also acknowledge his. Then, list down the pros and cons if you follow your suggestion as well as his suggestion. In this way, you can have a better understanding of the situation considering both of your perspectives. Reading this article might also help: http://www.theindusparent.com/how-to-stop-fighting-over-money-with-your-spouse
Read moreIt is always tricky to deal with household finances, especially where in-laws are involved. If your husband is supportive and understands you then it's better you talk it out with him and give him your suggestions. In case you feel, he may get a bit defensive because the issue also deals with his parents, be super careful and still share your opinion with him, perhaps suggesting a better option (here, to sell your stuff). It will be difficult to convince him immediately but that's exactly why you must act as the voice of reason.
Read moreI feel that this would be a good time to do a stock take of the household expenditure. Set aside a few hours and note down the current financial commitments (fixed and variable). From there, you can bring in your suggestions and also could consider other ideas. Have a frank and open discussion on how the finances should be managed and think of both short-term and long-term solutions. I personally feel that having everything written down will help you stay focus on the discussion and downplay the emotional aspect. Hope this helps!
Read moreFinancial matters can get uncomfortable if things haven't been settled prior to combining assets upon getting married. For me, in all cases, I will help my in-laws the exact same way I would expect my husband to help my parents. We marry into families and we take the good with the bad.
Lending has never been a good practice unless you have no other option left. It's fine to present your thoughts on this issue, in front of your husband. Just sit down, talk to him patiently, list down pros and cons and then you take a call.
Guys will always have problem with their pride. Trying taking it very emotionally. Like "this is about pride of the family etc etc" Guys usually react like "yeah. i AM a man. We can settle this ourselves" that sort of thing.
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Probably talk to him to wise him up to the reality of the situation. Lending other's money may not be the best way in the long-term.
make it a game: "Let's be minimalist and free ourselves of what we have not used for 6 months"
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