Can someone help me understand the mentality of sahm?

Can someone help me understand the mentality of sahm? So often have I come across sahm or daddies whose wives are sahm who came and persuade me to quit my job and be a sahm for the kids. They always told me that kids grow up so fast and that I should treasure the time with my kids while they are young. They always told me that money can always be earned but we can never earned back the time lost. When I told them I would consider or straight that I am ok with being a ftwm, I always get their annoyed look, as if I am not a good mother. They would tell me that I would regret my decision in future and that I am not placing my kids above my career. They would make me feel so guilty. Yet, many of these sahm, placed their child to cc for the whole day. So what is the difference when the time spent by these sahm with their kids r equal as that of a ftwm? I had even come across sahm whom says ftw parents r irresponsible parents bcoz they send their kids who have nt 100% recovered to school. When working parents told them abt the challenge of taking leaves for days just to make sure their kids have totally no symptoms, or that they simply have not enough leaves, these sahm can bash the working parents as saying they are uncaring and unethical parents as they cared more about their work than the health of their child. Some sahm always mentioned that people should not give birth if they have no help around or could not afford to keep their children at home in the event of sickness. I also came across one who says that the government should is penalising sahm as sahm receive lower cc subsidy than working mums. That they should receive equal, if not higher cc subsidy than working mums since they r nt working and household incomes had been halved. But then again, if sahm sincerely quit their job to look after and spend more time with their kids, then by right they should not have the need to put their children in cc? They should not need any additional subsidy? So to me, it always sounds like sahm are self entitled people who wants the best of both worlds. They just dont want to work using child caring as an excuse, and they want government (essentially are tax payers == working parents) to pay for their childs full day cc fee when they could afford to keep their child at home or just attend half day. Being a sahm also empowers them to criticise working parents for not putting their kids as priority. So can someone help me understand the mentality of sahm? Because I really get frustrated at time with their judging criticism and yet find that they are doing the opposite as what they preach.

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IMO, no right no wrong. Those who told you to quit and SAH (assuming you prefer to be a FTWM), just ask them if they are gonna pay for your kid’s expenses? If not who are they to decide for you. Some SAHMs who send their child to CC may have their own reasons? Certain conditions which makes them unable to work/husband don’t want them to. I am personally a SAHM and I only intend to send my baby straight to nursery skipping PG. Not gonna lie, a part of my introvert self prefers to SAH and I definitely prefer babysitting over working. I do get comments from people like why I didn’t send my kid to school so she can learn more and be smarter(?), why I don’t want to go and work instead etc etc. Repeated myself multiple times and now I just smile and ignore. What I can say is, don’t need to try and understand the stand of SAHM/FTWM/SAHM who put their kids in CC. Be the mum you are comfortable with and if surrounding allows you to be in certain position. Mouth is on others, we can shut off one, but there will always be another one two three. We just need to do our part, raise our kids the way we want. It is impossible to have the best of both worlds unless you are rich to begin with. SAHM = No income, more time spent with baby. FTWM = Got income, less time spent with baby. Regardless, once you’re a mum, you technically have no “off” days! 😊

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2y trước

Thanks for your kind reply. ikr. There is no path fits all. We should all be less judgemental and critical while being more supportive and respectful to each others choices.