BABY GIRL , AGAIN ?

Some may say, " it's still a blessing " Some may say, " at least you can conceive, think about those who can't but really want to " Some may say, " gender doesn't matter " YES, I get it! I know... I repeat, I KNOW. But deep inside my heart, " I've always wanted a boy " * sigh * My husband too... my family. Hi, I'm a young mommy. I got married at 20 years old and I had a daughter. When the first time I got to know that I'm pregnant, I thought I'm going to give birth to a son but I was wrong. Disappointed yes, but slowly I can accept the fact cause no matter what she's my bloodline and I love her. In my family, the first child is always a son but I shouldn't be surprise because in my husband's family... it's a daughter and more daughters. I took family planning after giving birth to my daughter and soon after that my husband wanted a second child and he said, " let's try for a son " I agreed. I got pregnant soon after 1 month of trying, guess we're both young so it's easier to conceive 🤔 I am currently 5 months pregnant, I'm so happy. I still don't know the gender though and I'm so nervous to know... I don't want to put so much hope cause most of my symptoms are showing that it's going to be a girl again... people in my surroundings was saying things like, " Oh you're craving sweet stuffs, it's going to be a girl again " " It looks like you're having a girl " Argh.. just stop! Don't tell me things that I already know 🥺 I told my husband, " What if it's not what we expected, YOU expected ? " He forced himself to smile and said, " It's okay. " but I know him very well that he really wanted a son. I'm just afraid that he could leave me if I can't bare him a son. My grandfather once did that to my grandmother but it was the opposite, she couldn't bare him a daughter instead. I'm tired of trying, I have no interest in trying for the third one. Please, I'm a career woman... and honestly I can't bare to have a lot of kids. People are saying things like, " Keep trying " I can't. Honestly, my personal expenses are quite high and I wanted to give my children the BEST. 2 kids are enough for me 😌 I don't want to have so many kids and what? Can't afford their wants / needs ? I'm sorry it's just my observation... certain people can't stop giving birth and end up not being able to care for all their kids nor have enough for their needs. I don't want to be like that...

16 Replies

Super Mum

Thank you for your heartfelt sharing. I understand a little of what you feel (I have 2 girls) but I think what turned the table was that I thought I lost my 2nd baby early on. So as much as we felt it would be nice to have a son this time around, every time I had a scan, my eyes would look straight at the heart to check that it was still beating, and everything else felt okay. I’m very happy that you’ve hit 5 months so far ❤️ And it’s okay to feel disapponted if baby’s really not a boy. It’s natural, since you did desire to have a son. It’s even okay to grief a little and hug it out with your husband. At the same time, I hope that you’ll grow to love this baby soooo much that the gender doesn’t affect you anymore when he/she is born. It may take time, and there may be days when you’re feeling down, but I hope your baby brings you immeasurable joy too:) I’m also a career woman and am not planning for anymore kids, but my 2 girls are one of the best gifts and blessings I could have ever had. And seeing the bond between the 2 sisters.. Priceless! ❤️

I grew up in a family where they stopped girls from pursuing higher education level (I mean O levels) n boys must at least have a degree. my mother did not protect me (I was outcasted and labelled as a prostitute by my aunties etc). my female cousins -- 95% were sec 2 drop outs (about 10 of them) and had shotgun marriages by the age of 18. I started working at age 14 (My brother is 30 currently and is not even working with a car n monthly stipend) n you have no idea how much I fought to get a masters' degree (only 3 ladies had degree in my family, pathetic). please don't be so backward and as a mother you have to protect your daughter no matter what the outcome is. why let someone's preference influence your maternal judgement about which gender is better? and honestly speaking, if you're a career women, why are you afraid should your husband leave you just because of a ridiculous nature fact that our babies can't choose their gender? (sorry I've seen too many strong headed career women who are ready to hold the Fort even if the world comes crashing on them).

Yeaaa I feel you actually... But for me, it’s more of a family pressure from my hubby’s side. My hubby is the youngest son out of the 3 brothers and the first to get married. And my in laws are kinda old fashioned.. Even thou I’m having their family’s FIRST grandchild, it’s a girl. So they kinda just “oh. Girl ah, ok lah. Good also la”. They actually planned on a boy’s name when they know I’m preggy.. But once they know it’s a girl, they didn’t bother thinking bout her name. I can’t help to wonder what will happen if I can’t bear them a grandson as I even heard a comment that goes something like this... “Still got 2 brothers not married and sure got chance to have a boy” Ouch. As much as it’s a “God’s gift” and health is the most important... I also hope I can bear my hubby a son the next time round...

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm 28 weeks pregnant with a baby boy and to be completely honest, as much as I tried convincing myself, I was disappointed because I really wanted my first born to be a baby girl. Since my mother had 2 girls and my mother in law had 2 boys, I thought since I'M carrying the baby then chances are higher that it'd be a girl. But of course that was silly thinking. Anyway, after reading your story and seeing how you've worded your experience I've came to realise that being concern about the baby's gender is plain ridiculous. Read another reply saying - along the lines of - "our baby didn't get to choose to be born nor who their parents will be so why are we trying to pick at their gender" AND I CANNOT AGREE MORE

TapFluencer

If ur husband leave u for this stupid reason means God loves u more cos u deserve better. For me a healthy baby is the most important. Im 13th weeks now, not sure is boy or girl but all our worries are focus on baby health rather than the gender cos im 30y.o consider medium risk pregnancy. Dont think too much, my hubby’s mother kinda modern cos she wants girl but my mom prefer boy. Anyway they have no right to say anything, cos im the one who carrying the baby. N me n my hubby just hope the baby is healthy, gender rly doesnt matter :) cheer up strong mummy!

Hi mummy, I have 3 girls and coming one is a girl too. We have been wanting a boy since the 3rd one. But seriously, if it is not as easy as picking up fruits in the supermarket. Haha. For everytime i feel a bit disappointed, i told myself - a healthy baby is more important than a preferable gender. I do get the “girl again?” Even my mil ask me again and again abt the gender even after telling her. Every appt i go she ask “ confirm girl?” Haha.. seriously, with all the virus in the world - a healthy baby over a babyboy. Anytime. ✌🏻

Hi, Mummy! I was smiling while reading your post and I was like “OMG, who is this?” Its because we do have same “wish” - to have a son too & just like you, I am so pressured about it. Good thing my husband is supportive. He will say “don’t care about what other people and/or family say, its our child, not theirs”- it gives me comfort but deep inside I really wanted a son. I do not have the best advice for you but I want you to know that you are not alone!! Send me a PM whenever you’re down.. lets comfort each other. 😅😅

VIP Member

Let's exchange. Mine is boy again. I want a baby girl. My entire family want a girl. I'm craving for sweet foods and having pregnancy glow etc. All signs point to girls but recent ultrasound shows is a little penis. I'm sad for a few days and got depressed till my eczema flare up again. But everything is fated we can't control things like this. Accept it and do our best for them👨‍👩‍👦‍👦

Yup. 2 is really enough. At least they have companion 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻

Hmm I think you should not be thinking so much till you even think that he will leave you just because of your baby's gender. If he does that, then sorry to say that's really shallow of him. I'm quite surprised too for you to feel this way. I hope and pray that you will feel at ease and contented with whatever is the gender. Just enjoy your pregnancy and motherhood. God bless.

VIP Member

Don’t be so hard on yourself babe.. Coz it’s your husband’s chromosome that determines the baby’s gender. Not yours. 💁🏽 My hubby has this “alternate gender” pattern - boy-girl-boy-girl. So he’s able to confidently rule out our baby’s gender before the scan. I’ll try for one more after this to get a boy. 😅

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